Mom Criticized For Attempting To Soothe Her Baby While Standing In The Exit Row Of A Plane
The backlash was unnecessary for a mother who was only trying to do her best and calm her baby down.
@bumpnbub / Instagram The journey of motherhood is often marked by profound moments of tenderness and joy, but it can also bring its own set of trials.
One of these trials is the subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle lack of empathy that mothers often encounter when tending to their children's needs in public spaces, which was the case for Aliza Carr while on an airplane with her infant.
The mother posted a video of her attempting to soothe her baby while standing in the exit row of a plane.
In a video posted to her Instagram, Aliza Carr, an Australian midwife and perinatal mental health advocate, decided to share a candid moment of her trying to soothe her then-4-month-old daughter, Zadie, while they had been on a flight.
Carr had been attempting to let other mothers who often travel with their babies know that they're not alone in feeling the stress and nervousness of being on long flights with infants.
In the video, Carr had been standing in the exit row during a 14-hour flight, where she was trying to soothe Zadie by bouncing her around and rocking her back and forth.
"I remember this flight, it was 14+ hours straight and I remember taking Panadol for my butt and leg muscles that were aching," Carr wrote in the video's caption. She also pointed out that the only way that her daughter would sleep was by being aggressively swayed, which she was doing in the video.
"I know if my child’s life depended on it, she wouldn’t sleep in the plane bassinet, or even on us — standing, bouncing and aggressively swaying is the only way," Carr added.
While the video itself had been innocent enough, many people in the comments were quick to bash Carr for disrupting other passengers' experience on the flight by rocking her baby in their faces.
She received criticism for standing in the exit row and soothing her baby instead of sitting down to do it.
Some people were especially cruel to Carr for choosing to stand in the exit row, accusing her of ruining people's time on the flight by having to look at her rocking her baby in front of them.
"If I was sitting at that exit row and paid for the extra legroom... I’d be so mad having this happening in front of me the whole flight!" one Instagram user wrote.
Another user agreed, adding, "I feel bad for the other passengers who wanted to sit on the plane in peace," while a third user chimed in, "You can bounce your sweet babe in the back of the plane. I’d be [angry] as a passenger [who] was forced to watch you bounce."
Others claimed that if Carr needed to go the extra mile to soothe her baby, she shouldn't have been traveling at all, or at least for that long of a flight.
However, there were equally as many people in the comments section who defended Carr against the mom-shamers and pointed out that she wasn't being a bother to the other passengers at all.
"Some of these comments are everything that is wrong with our world," one Instagram user remarked. "It’s [people] who are annoyed by mothers doing their best to love and care for our babies the way they deserve. Doing our best every single day."
"Either way, you are an inspiration to all parents worldwide, especially that beautiful little girl! For all the women who are standing up for this post, you are the real MVPs."
Another user wrote, "All I see is a loving mother and a baby who needs a bit of extra love and closeness from their mother. Calm DOWN everyone."
The amount of backlash Carr received is just one example of the lack of empathy for mothers in public spaces.
Traveling with a baby, especially one that young, is already an incredibly stressful and nerve wracking experience, but it's made worse by people who blatantly shame mothers for simply trying their best. It's unrealistic to assume that mothers will just stay locked in their homes with their infants until their children reach an age that is suitable for them to be in public.
Carr was put in an impossible situation because if she did choose to sit back down with her baby, other passengers would have then shot her dirty looks and shamed her even further for having a crying baby on a flight, but when she stood to do something about it and avoid a shrieking baby disturbing other passengers, she was told it was "annoying" and "disrespectful."
Instead of judging mothers like Carr for tending to the needs of their children, we should have more compassion and understanding, because, at the end of the day, these parents are feeling just as anxious about disrupting the peace in public spaces, and they could do without the snarky comments and exasperation of the people around them.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.