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Mom Slammed For Insisting Daughter's Friend 'Apologize' To Her After Calling Her A 'Bigger Woman'

Photo: fizkes | Shutterstock
mom and daughter hugging

A mother is being criticized for her response after her daughter's friend made a rude remark toward her.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — the woman described the events.

In her Reddit post, the woman, 37, wrote that she has two children, a 14-year-old daughter, and a 10-year-old son.

She explained that her daughter is extremely "socially awkward," and suspected that she was on the spectrum.

"Turns out she isn't on the spectrum; she's just a natural introvert," she wrote.

Her daughter's social awkwardness has made it hard for her to make friends, but she eventually made a friend her own age that went to her school.

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She allowed her daughter to invite her new friend to have dinner at their house.

"Long story short she recently invited her new friend over (with our approval) to have dinner at our house and then spend the night," she recalled.

For dinner, the woman's husband, who is usually the cook in their household, made a meal for everyone to enjoy.

During the meal, she asked her daughter's friend if she was enjoying her meal, to which she responded: "Yes! [Your husband] is a great cook! No wonder you've ended up a bigger woman."

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After the remark, the room was shrouded in silence for a few minutes.

The woman's husband tried to laugh off what his daughter's friend had said, even attempting to change the subject, but it was a lost cause.

"I wasn't having it. The girl had just leveled a completely uncalled-for insult at me."

The daughter's friend seemed to realize what she'd said was rude, but didn't apologize or say anything else.

They all continued eating their dinner in silence, and afterward, the woman's daughter and her friend retired to their room where they had their planned sleepover.

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When her daughter tried to ask if her friend could come over again, her mother said she was not allowed in the house.

After a couple of months had passed since the dinner, the woman's daughter asked if her friend could come back over.

While the mom agreed, she told her daughter that she was only allowed back in if her friend apologized for the rude remark about her weight.

"When our daughter asked what I meant I reminded her of what she'd said. My daughter responded that it was over and she didn't want to bring it up again."

When her mother refused to budge, the daughter went to her father, who told her she could bring her friend over again.

When the woman pointed out to her husband what their daughter's friend had previously said, he didn't find any fault in it.

"He came to me and said: '[Daughter's friend] just felt awkward and tried to make a joke. It didn't land. For the sake of our daughter can't you just let it go?'"

She argued that all she wanted was an apology and for her daughter's friend to realize how hurtful her comment had been before she allows her back into their house.

"My husband says that I am being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14-year-old, especially since that girl is such a good friend of our daughter," she concluded.

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Most of the people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was in the wrong for "banishing" her daughter's friend.

Most Reddit users acknowledged that the mother should've been the one who asked for an apology instead of expecting one and that she shouldn't hold a grudge against a teenager.

"She’s a 14-year-old kid. Even with the best social skills, they often put their foot in their mouths. Let it go. Don’t ruin your daughter’s friendship because your ego was hurt by one off-hand comment," one user wrote.

Another user added, "You should have asked for an apology at the table. What she said was very rude, and I think she knew it as soon as it came out of her mouth, but she didn’t know what to do to make it right."

"You're the adult here; don't pick a fight with a 14-year-old child. It's clear this kid didn't mean to upset you. Do you really want to sabotage your own child's friendships because of your ego?" a third user chimed in.

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.

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