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Man Wonders If He Was Wrong To Toss Daughter-In-Law’s Things On The Street After She Made A Mess In His Home

Photo: fizkes | Shutterstock
middle aged man sitting on couch looking out window

A man is wondering if he's in the wrong after treating his daughter-in-law like a child when she was acting like one.

Posting in the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A**hole), the man explains that his son and wife have been staying with him for a month now while they prepare to move into their new place in May. 

Him and his wife have enjoyed having their son and daughter-in-law stay with them, and the only issue the man has with his daughter-in-law is that she is extremely messy. 

"I'm retired from the army and I have always run my house to a certain set of standards and I expect them to be followed even by guests," the man wrote in his post.

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The man's son has often described his wife as someone who "prefers clutter" and she tends to have things where she can easily see them.

However, after the man voiced his opinion over his displeasure when it comes to the clutter his daughter-in-law leaves behind, she started getting better about cleaning up, but not "to the standards" the man would've preferred.

His daughter-in-law still leaves her makeup out in the guest bathroom until she gets home in the afternoons because she "runs out of time in the mornings" to put everything away. 

"To her credit she does clean everything once she gets home, but I don't appreciate having to stare at the mess for hours until she does get home."

The man tried handling the issues privately with his son, in hopes that he would be able to talk to his wife.

His son did agree he's been making excuses for her and her behavior under the guise of her "unstable" homelife when she was growing up with her parents, and then later on in the foster care system.

The man admits that she is still young, at only 20-years-old, but makes the comparison that his own kids knew how to clean up after themselves before they were even out of elementary school.

"My frustrations over the situation grew to head one day when yet again she left out makeup in the bathroom and in response I took a trash bag and placed all the makeup and everything underneath the sink that was hers as well, and then in the guest bedroom every piece of clothing she owned etc," the man reveals.

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He explains that he had no intention of throwing away her things, but that he wanted to show her how serious he was on the matter and thought handling it in the same manner he would've handled a teenager would have given her a big wake-up call.

His daughter-in-law came home before his son and discovered all of her things in trash bags outside of their house, and was incredibly shocked. 

The man didn't yell, but was stern when he explained that her behavior had been very disrespectful and if it continued she'd have to leave his house. 

"My [daughter-in-law] didn't say much and just looked at me with wide eyes the whole time, and then when I was done she apologized and took all of her things back inside the room she was staying in."

The man could hear her crying, which he thought was a "dramatic" response, and when his son got home, he apologized for his wife's messiness but said that the situation hadn't been handled in the right way. 

"Now my [daughter-in-law] has been keeping all of her things in her car and won't even place them in the house at all. She has also become very reserved when I am around, but is completely fine around my daughters and wife. The mess stopped but now there is an awkwardness in the house," the man concluded.

Most people under the man's Reddit post were in agreement that he was the a**hole in the situation.

"While they are staying with you, the space you gave them is their space. They should be entitled to a sense of security and privacy. Creeping into their room to see if she's living up to your ex-military standards is not acceptable," one user commented.

Another user commented, "People who have gone through the foster system often come back "home" and find their stuff packed in trash bags and the social worker telling them it's time to move to the next house. You just set her back on working through that piece of trauma."

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.

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