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Mom Wonders If She Overreacted When A Nurse Said Her Adopted Daughter 'Wasn't Her Real Child'

Photo: Yuganov Konstantin | Shutterstock
mother and daughter in blanket smiling at each other

After a woman found herself getting angry at a nurse for telling her that her daughter "wasn't my daughter," she has taken to Reddit to ask if she is actually the one in the wrong.

Posting in the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A**Hole), a common place for people to post incidents in which they ask if they are in the right or wrong, the woman explained that her and her partner had adopted their daughter two years ago.

The couple don't have any biological children, and don't plan to have any just yet. Their daughter is 6-years-old now, and doesn't quite understand that she's adopted but her parents have made it clear that she isn't biologically related to them, but they still love her and treat her as if she is.

The mom considers the daughter to be her own, but a nurse didn't seem to think so.

"The other day, I took her to a pediatrician because she said that one of her ears "felt full." She did have a cold last week so that was expected and he said that her ear would drain out eventually. All good," the woman explained in her post.

After everything is settled with the doctor, a nurse comes in with a discharge sheet, and made a comment of how she "would have never assumed" the woman was the mother of her daughter since they "looked nothing" alike.

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The woman wasn't perturbed by the comment since the two obviously don't look alike, and responds to the nurse, "Oh yeah, we adopted her so that's why she doesn't look me or my husband."

The nurse replies, "Oh okay so she isn't your daughter."

Confused, the woman repeated her situation again, thinking the nurse hadn't understood her the first time. She said, once again, that the little girl is her daughter, and they adopted her a few years ago.

The nurse then repeats what she'd said earlier, "But technically she isn't your daughter, and her real mom is somewhere else." Of course the woman became upset, saying, "But she IS my daughter and I AM her mom."

"The nurse kind of sighed and said 'okay maybe legally you are, but her real mom is the one that gave birth to her,'" the woman added in her post.

During the entire debacle, her daughter looked confused, probably not quite understanding what the nurse was implying.

Immediately the woman became angry, telling the nurse, "What the hell is wrong with you? I keep telling you that I am her mother, and you keep denying that, in front of my daughter no less."

The nurse doesn't back down, continuing, "I'm just stating a fact. Biologically she's not yours."

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The woman then tried again, "YEAH. Because she's ADOPTED. We ADOPTED her and gave her a home. What I have to push her out my vagina to be her mother?" 

"Well that's the dictionary definition of what a mom is," the nurse replied back. 

At that point, the woman was rightfully fuming, telling the nurse she needed "to wash her mouth of the bullsh*t" she had been saying at the woman and her daughter, and then left to go home.

The woman ended her post by explaining that she had been really shaken up at the comments made and once she was home she told her husband what had happened.

He had agreed that the nurse was out of place for saying all of that, but disagreed that she should've blown up like that.

Most people under the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A**Hole) in the situation.

"Please report this nurse. It's incredibly unprofessional, and she needs to be reprimanded. Who knows what insensitive thing she'll say to someone a lot more vulnerable?" one user commented.

Another user commented, "File a formal complaint, you are not at wrong she's terrible. She stood there and what is supposed to be a position of authority, dressed like a medical professional in front of your child, and was just spitting out her narrow-minded idea and kept doing so. I am livid for you."

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.

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