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Woman Wonders If She Is Wrong For Not Paying Father's Medical Bills After He Abandoned Her Family

Photo: Avelino Calvar Martinez / Shutterstock
Woman thinking alone

After having a tumultuous relationship with her father, a woman is wondering if she is wrong for not wanting to pay his medical bills.

Posting in the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A**Hole), the woman, 29, explained that her parents had gotten divorced when she was 10 years old and that she hasn't had consistent contact with him since.

Her father had decided to prioritize his new family, including his stepson, 33, and all of the new children he had with his new wife over the woman and her brother. He didn't visit his children after he got remarried, and when they'd call to ask, he'd make the excuse that he was busy.

"Before the divorce, I was literally daddy's little girl. His beloved golden child. No joke. I thought my father was the best and I wanted to marry a man like him when I grew up," the woman wrote in her post.

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Her feelings for her father changed after he'd dropped her and her brother, which only caused a "deep-seated wound" that the woman could never recover from or forgive her father for causing.

The woman's father had also never paid child support, so her mother had to support her and her brother as a single parent after deciding not to take him to court since she never wanted anything to do with him, despite the fact that her parents had 50/50 custody.

"However, 18 years is a long time and thanks to my mother's love and care for us, I have already forgotten about him and moved on with my life, same goes for my brother. We have both grown up to live comfortably in our lives, take care of our mother and love her to no end," the woman continued.

Now, he father is asking for help paying his medical bills and she doesn't know what to do.

Recently, the woman was contacted by her father's stepson, who messaged her on Facebook saying he needed to talk about their father. 

He told her that their father has a medical condition and that the treatment has a hefty price, which he sent along with screenshots of his medical reports.

He told the woman that it "would be nice" if they could pay his medical bills and that their father also wanted to speak with her and her brother.

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The woman had responded to the message, saying, "I told him that, that man lost the rights to be my father when he decided to not have any contact with us and also that 'HIS' father's medical bills are none of my concern so as his children, you shouldn't go around harassing random people for money."

After refusing to help pay the medical bills, her father's stepson called her a "heartless and vengeful b*tch," to which she replied with a smiling emoji and then blocked him.

"I talked to my mom about this and she said while I have the right to be angry with him, he is still my father and is unwell, so I could help them out a bit," the woman explained.

"I told her 'No way in hell am I going to pay for his bills. He has his children to pay for it, so let them settle it. He made his bed, now let him sleep on it.'"

Most people who commented under the woman's Reddit post were in agreement that she was NTA (Not The A**Hole) in the situation with her father.

"The man is [the a**hole]. He chose to drop you and not to support you in any way. If they tried to sue you, you have all the unpaid child support to prove he was not up to his responsibilities as a parent, and thus you owe him nothing," one user commented.

Another user commented, "He wrote himself out of your life 19 years ago. He doesn’t get to write himself back in just because he needs money."

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.

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