Man Tells His Friend That His Wife Can’t ‘Pull Off A Swimsuit’ And Wonders If He Did Something Wrong

He didn't have to bring his friend's wife into their argument.

Friends at the beach Kardasov Films /

A man on Reddit is asking for advice after he decided it was time to take his friend's confidence down a notch or two.

His friend has talked to him multiple times about how his wife “seems to have a lot of body confidence” for the bikinis she wears and posts herself wearing — an odd subject to bring up completely unprompted, but it happened regardless.

The man tells him that maybe his own wife just can’t “pull off a swimsuit” and that he should stop “fixating” on his wife.

“We actually haven’t talked since then,” he said toward the end of the story, “so I’m wondering if I’m an a--hole.”


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Fortunately for this man, a Reddit group exists that specializes in figuring out who the “a--hole” in the situation is, and it’s the subreddit “r/AmItheA--hole.”

Redditors post the stories where they can’t figure out who’s in the wrong and rely on the morally sound and completely unbiased internet strangers to provide the answer.

The two most common ratings applied by this metaphorical internet jury are “You’re the a--hole” (YTA) and “Not the a--hole” (NTA), but this story brought out a different, less common, but more fitting rating — “Everyone sucks here” (ESH).


“She posts a lot of photos on Instagram in dresses, crop tops, and now that it’s summer - swimsuits,” the man starts his story on the Reddit page.

“I’ve never had a problem with it. I think most girls in their mid-twenties do the same thing, but my friend has been making weird remarks to me about her posts since we got married.”

His friend basically just spouts the archaic view of how a woman shouldn’t be dressing or posting “provocatively” online like she’s “a single woman” when she’s married, finalizing his rude remarks towards his buddy’s wife by saying that “his wife would never ‘disrespect him’ by posting photos like this.”


He brought it up to his wife, who called his friend “weird,” and they both shrugged it off, but the next time they all hung out together and she was wearing a bikini, his friend brought it up again.

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His friend claimed that his wife had her butt out, but he says she was wearing a normal bikini and not a thong bikini, so his friend’s claim was a little exaggerated, and even brought it back to saying that his wife was respectful, while his friend’s wife was not.

“I had honestly had enough of his incessant continuous comments about my wife and how he was continually comparing her to his more conservatively dressed wife so I said ‘your wife just dresses like that because she can’t pull [off] a swimsuit. Stop fixating on my wife bro, it’s getting old fast,’” he wrote.


He feels bad for insulting his friend’s wife because “his wife didn’t deserve that,” even if she doesn’t know that he said it.

Everyone agreed that he should feel bad, and that he and his friend were both the “a--holes,” and that everyone sucks here — his buddy for his sexist views and weird comments, and him for insulting his friend’s wife just to call him out.

“ESH, well the husbands do. You should have stood up for your wife and not insulted his,” wrote one user.

“ESH. There were other ways to get this guy to shut up without bringing his wife into it,” wrote another. “She had nothing to do with it and you just stooped to [his] level by making inappropriate comments on his wife's appearance.”


I understand wanting to say something to shut him up and defend his wife, but he could have said a million other things without bringing his friend’s wife into it and insulting her.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Since graduating from Rutgers University, he spends most of his free time gaming or playing a fictional sport. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.