Man Wonders If He’s Wrong For Banning Kids From Visits With Grandmother Who Fat-Shamed Daughter

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Man Wonders If He Is Wrong For Banning Kids From Unsupervised Visits With Grandmother Who Fat-Shamed Daughter

A concerned father came to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” subreddit for advice after seeing how his mother-in-law treats his step-daughter.

This subreddit allows Redditors to share their conflicts and issues, allowing others within the community to weigh in from an outside perspective.

When the original poster (OP) asks a question, the other users debate and vote on whether OP was the a**hole or not.

This man, in particular, wanted to know if he was the a**hole for yelling at his mother-in-law and suggesting that the kids shouldn’t have any unsupervised overnight stays at their grandparents’ house.

He has two daughters, a six-year-old who is biologically his and a ten-year-old who is not.

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The kids will typically spend their weekends with their grandparents. The man has noticed that his ten-year-old has “been quiet” when he picks them up these past few weeks.

At first, she wouldn’t say anything about it, but after a little more prying, she admitted that her grandmother was being rude to her.

The man was upset to learn that his mother-in-law had been pressuring his daughter to eat less.

She explained that her grandmother has banned her from treats and making comments about her body, only letting her eat chicken and vegetables while her younger sister gets to eat whatever she wants.

She even told her, “When you lose weight, you can enjoy these things in moderation.”

That same morning, before he picked the girls up, his in-laws brought donuts home.

His eldest daughter snuck a donut and went to eat it in her room. Her grandmother caught her “shoving [the donut] behind the bed after taking a bite.”

Then her grandmother got angry that she was “sneaking food and making a mess.”

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Angry, the man left the girls in the car and went back to the parking lot to yell at his mother-in-law, to which her only response was, “she has to take matters into her own hands because [he] as the ‘stepfather’ does not care about her granddaughter’s health.”

He told his daughter to ignore her grandmother because she was acting inappropriately. He then drove the two girls to Walmart, getting them each a gift and their groceries before going home.

His wife was upset with how he spoke to her mother.

He explained what happened, but after seeing that he had bought both daughters a gift, she scolded him for buying the girls’ gifts.

“I can’t believe you rewarded bad behavior because she did disobey my mom’s rule about only eating healthy foods while at her house,” she told him.

He didn’t understand because he felt what her mother did to the 10-year-old was traumatizing and suggested that the girls not have any more unsupervised overnight visits at their house. His wife countered that he was unreasonable and needed to apologize for his behavior.

He responded that he’d apologize for his tone but not for taking measures to protect his child.

A unanimous decision classified the man as NTA, “Not the a**hole.”

Redditors were quick to share that the man was NTA.

Many felt that the wife and grandmother would cause the ten-year-old’s eating disorder.

Many came to the young girl’s defense, stating that at ten, she’s reaching an age where her body is beginning to change.

A Redditor felt that the mother and grandmother were the a**holes in this situation because they had no regard for a young girl’s changing body and mind, stating, “this is also when eating disorders and food triggers start to form.”

Others expressed concerns for their daughter, believing that his wife needs to be educated in eating disorders, and applauded him for protecting his daughter.

Many Redditors were brave enough to share similar stories about how their eating disorders, or a loved one, were developed.

User “propernice” shared her story of having food withheld from her by family members and how it’s affected her today.

Another Redditor named “Megalush” shared how it felt for her to watch her sister go through similar things with their grandparents.

“Antigoneelectra” shared the details of living with a mother who dealt with bulimia after food and weight-related abuse from her grandmother.

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Ashley Darkwa-Anto is an editorial intern at YourTango who covers News & Entertainment.

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