Man Accused Of ‘Interfering’ With His Sister’s Marriage After Privately Seeing Her Father-In-Law

She didn't even know they had seen each other on multiple occasions.

couple arguing over what's on a man's phone Antonio Guillem via Shutterstock / Twemoji via Canva

A 25-year-old man found himself questioning his actions and seeking the wisdom of the internet after an awkward mix-up involving his sister’s father-in-law.

He shared the story to Reddit’s “r/AmItheA-hole” (AITA) subreddit, a forum dedicated to people asking others if they acted appropriately in a certain situation. According to him, his relationship with his sister’s father-in-law, Thomas, started innocently enough, with the two bonding during the sister’s wedding celebrations. But after the hangouts continued and his sister caught wind of it, it started to turn into a more complex situation.


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The man explained how he began 'privately' seeing her father-in-law.

According to the man's post, he and his sister’s mid-40-year-old father-in-law, Thomas, would meet every other weekend, grabbing drinks or simply spending time together at Thomas’ place, a practice the young man had not felt the need to disclose to his sister.

However, the conflict started one night when they were hanging out as they usually did.

“I’m typically in charge of playing music for us, and ‘Cyber Sex’ by Doja Cat came on the playlist I had queued up,” he explained. 


This led to a light-hearted moment, with Thomas enjoying the song’s explicit lyrics. The next morning, as a playful gesture, the young man sent Thomas a link to the song. However, unbeknownst to him, his brother-in-law was using Thomas’ phone when the message arrived. 

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The seemingly inappropriate message led to the man's brother-in-law asking his single father about their relationship.



“Apparently, it caused a huge stir and resulted in BIL confronting his father about the whole thing,” he wrote.


In an edit of the original post, he clarified that he identifies as bisexual, and in the replies, he mentioned that he is not opposed to their relationship developing further.

“I’m not totally against the idea of something happening. He’s a handsome, mature dude who has his s--t together,” he commented.

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His sister called him, demanding an explanation for what she labeled 'lewd' messages.

In addition to that, she questioned why he was spending time with him at all. 

“I tried to explain the situation like I did here, that he and I grab drinks and catch up occasionally after finding things in common during her wedding weekend but it hasn’t gone well,” he confessed. Left with feelings of guilt and confusion, he turned to the Reddit community to shed light on the situation. 


“I’m starting to feel guilty about the whole thing because she said I was interfering with her married life. I’m lost. AITA?” he asked.

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man spending time with sister's father-in-law aita reddit commentPhoto: Reddit

Many felt he was crossing a line in acting toward his sister’s father-in-law in this way and overwhelmingly disagreed with him.

“You may not be related or anything, but yeah, that does put your sister and her husband in a very uncomfortable position,” one person wrote. “This is incredibly inappropriate and disrespectful to your sister and BIL. You need to learn to be less self serving and learn some boundaries as well,” another added.


Some people felt that it wasn’t his sister’s business what he did in his private life, even if it concerned her father-in-law!

“[W]hether you’re friends or dating, doesn’t matter. It’s not your sister’s business,” one person wrote.

However, the subreddit gave his post the official “A--hole” label. Whatever one’s opinions on this situation may be, most people can probably agree that it would’ve been best if he had been more open about the situation with his sister. Instead of her finding out from her brother-in-law that they were hanging out altogether!


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Ethan Cotler is a writer living in Boston. His writing covers entertainment, news and human interest stories.