Man Asks If He's Wrong For Refusing To Sleep In Bed With His Wife Unless She Showers After Work

His wife claims he's being 'unreasonable,' while he is worried about his own health.

Upset man sitting on the bed with woman in the back Ground Picture / Shutterstock

A husband wonders if he was too harsh on his wife after refusing to sleep beside her and instead moving to the couch.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — he explained that his wife works long hours at her job, and would prefer if when she came home, she showered.

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The man refuses to sleep beside his wife unless she showers after coming back from work at the hospital.

In his Reddit post, the 33-year-old man revealed that his wife works as an OB-GYN at a hospital, and recently mentioned that she is often exposed to a lot of bodily fluids while working, which is a completely normal feat for doctors.



"While I'm proud of her for doing such an important job, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in the same bed as her without her showering first," he admitted. While he's tried telling his wife multiple times that he would feel more comfortable with her taking a shower, she disagrees, saying that it would be "unnecessary."


She told him that she's still fairly clean when coming home from the hospital since she wears protective gear such as gloves, makes sure to change out her scrubs regularly, and takes the appropriate precautions to avoid cross-contamination.

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man refuses to sleep beside wife unless she showers after workPhoto: Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock


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"I still feel uneasy about the potential exposure to bodily fluids, and I don't think it's an unreasonable request for her to take a quick shower before bed," he continued. As a solution, he's decided to just sleep on the couch in their living room instead of sleeping next to her in their bed.

"My wife thinks I'm overreacting and being ridiculous by sleeping on the couch, but I don't want to compromise my comfort and health."

While many people assume that hospitals would be some of the cleanest places to be, that isn't always the case. Even though hospital staff makes sure to disinfect their surfaces and equipment, there are still a surprising amount of things that can slip through the cracks.


Some of those surfaces in hospitals include bed rails, doorknobs, and medical equipment. It is understandable that this man would feel anxious about his wife possibly bringing some of those germs back home, and should attempt to try and explain his feelings clearly to not shame his wife.

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Many Reddit users agreed that he wasn't being unreasonable for wanting to sleep on the couch and not in bed with his wife.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with a quick shower after coming home, and nothing wrong with staying away from someone until they do," one Reddit user wrote. "You were free to ask and she was free to say no... while accepting the consequences of refusing."

Another user added, "Your wife works in a hospital and trust me those places are filthy. I have worked as a nurse in the hospital setting and I would immediately get out of scrubs and have a shower when I got home."


"It’s not unreasonable to want someone who has been in a hospital all day to take a shower. My daughter is a respiratory tech and she showers as soon as she gets home from work," a third user shared.

After receiving an influx of comments, the man remarked that he would work on finding a compromise with his wife, pointing out that his health won't change whether or not he sleeps on the couch.

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Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.