Woman's Husband Asks For An Open Marriage, Then Gets Jealous When His Wife Gets Tons Of Tinder Matches

In reality, he wanted to see other people without her doing the same.

woman holding phone with tinder app open, upset man Good Faces Agency via Unsplash / Prostock-studio via Shutterstock

When a woman's husband sought to open their marriage, things took a turn when she gained more attention than he had anticipated.

Open relationships can work for many people, but in this situation, she was caught off guard when her husband, who she's had two children with, popped the question out of the blue one day. She shared the story in a now-deleted post on Reddit's "r/TrueOffMyChest," which is described as "a place to get personal things off your chest."


The woman explained that her husband asked for an open marriage.

"Last week he told me that he wanted to ask me something but that I mustn't take it the wrong way. He wanted to open the marriage," she wrote. The proposal left her shattered. She cried as she wondered things like, "Did he not love me anymore?" and "Is he not attracted to me?"

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But she took it in stride and decided to try her hand at the dating app Tinder, not expecting the overwhelming response she would receive. 



Her profile, outlining that she was a mother in an open marriage, attracted over 100 matches within the first hour, quickly escalating to around 2,000 by the following day. She made it a point that she used one of the "least flattering" photos she had of herself for the profile.


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Despite wanting to open the marriage, the woman's husband got jealous of the high volume of her Tinder matches.

Seeing his wife's popularity surge, her husband's curiosity quickly turned into anger. "My husband got very angry and demanded I deleted the app. He said he got the point and to forget about it. Now he is back to 'normal' but I can't forget about it," she wrote.

husband asks wife for open marriage then gets jealousPhoto: Twitter via @ask_aubry


She was confused by the proposal altogether since he had never been comfortable with her receiving attention from other men. The question remained, what had he expected from an open marriage?

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People weighed in with their perspectives and theories. 

"I always get the impression when a partner wants to 'open' a relationship it's them wanting a 'legal' excuse to cheat," one person wrote. Others echoed similar sentiments, claiming that he's already not being loyal to her.

husband asks wife for open marriage then gets jealousPhoto: Twitter via @ask_aubry


"He's not back to normal, he's back to cheating behind your back," one person wrote. 

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The wife, however, remained doubtful about who the other woman could be, as she had an understanding of his circle of friends and acquaintances. "All I know is that I think he had one in mind and didn't just want to open the marriage and then try his luck," she wrote.

One person suggested that her husband might be polyamorous, and she responded, "If he is poly then he could find people like him to be poly with," making it clear her commitment remained to monogamy.

Despite the emotional turmoil she was going through, some people encouraged her to have a serious discussion about the situation with her husband. Still, she was in too much pain to confront the matter immediately. "Right now I just want to be gone and never see him again," she wrote.


In the end, the outpouring of support from the online community showed her that she was not alone in her struggle. 

"Clearly you are not unwanted. You showed him that. Hang in there girl. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this," one person wrote.

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Ethan Cotler is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango living in Boston. His writing covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.