Woman's Fiance Asks For An Open Relationship Then Shames Her For 'Connecting' With 42 Men In A Year

He wasn't prepared to reap what he sowed.

Stock image of a couple fighting Lordn / Shutterstock

Opening up a monogamous relationship is a delicate process. For an established couple to make such a drastic change to their relationship, all parties involved need to be enthusiastic about the transition. Otherwise, they could end up with a similar fate to one couple on Reddit who found themselves at odds.

A woman revealed what happened after her fiance requested an open relationship.

In a since-deleted post originally posted to the Reddit forum r/relationship_advice and reposted to TikTok, a woman sought advice on whether needed to end her 4-year relationship with her fiance.


The woman explained that after her fiance found out about how many women his friend had slept with before getting engaged, he became fixated on opening their relationship. Though “disgusted by the thought,” the woman agreed after her fiance had “a major meltdown.”

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Just a note — if you need to have a tantrum in order to coerce your partner into an open relationship, you’re already not off to a great start.



It turns out that the woman was actually quite good at picking up guys, hooking up with an impressive 42 men in one year. Her fiance, however, only had “two really bad hookups from apps.” She wrote that he threw another fit after finding out that his girlfriend had experienced more success in her sexual endeavors than he had. According to the post, he kept repeating "You've slept with 20 times the number I have? 20 TIMES?”


The woman wrote in her post that although she had enjoyed her time seeing other people, she had never been interested in an open relationship in the first place and would have been willing to stop at any time.

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When she suggested that they return to being an exclusive couple, her fiance refused.

Instead, he wanted to impose a pathetic rule: that she would have to “take a break until he got to 10,” and then she could “go out and meet someone new every five new girls he sleeps with.” The woman wrote that she found this "ridiculous."

“Part of the fun of this was the independence and not checking in. Now he literally wants me to keep a log and then when he hits like an achievement then I can do my thing. How shifty is that? And in all honesty, I don't want a relationship where we have to compare numbers, let alone f–k other people. I want a normal life with kids and a house and dog.”


The Reddit user asked if there was any hope for her relationship or if she should just “cut her losses and move on.” Unsurprisingly, the comments were brimming with people begging her to break up with her awful fiance. The top comment on the post, which racked up thousands of upvotes, simply told her to move on. They later edited their comment to elaborate: “Find a guy who values you and respects you. Those men exist. Don’t waste your life, future, and emotions on immature idiots.”

RELATED: Asking For An Open Marriage Made Me A Better Wife And Mom

In an update to her post, the woman discovered just how immature, misogynistic, and abusive her fiance really was.

The woman’s fiance had a terrifying reaction to finding out about her Reddit post. He initially didn’t believe her when she told him they needed to break up. He was actually surprised, although he had reportedly spent hours calling her “all sorts of gendered slurs” — for some reason, he thought she was going to apologize to him!

When the woman tried to leave his house, he attempted to block her and even grabbed her arm until she threatened to call the police. He also punched her car window multiple times as she left, then called and texted her dozens of times as she drove home.


It’s a relief to know that the woman who made the initial Reddit post was able to escape from her massively insecure fiance. Let this post serve as a reminder — if you’re ever in a situation where your partner is trying to emotionally manipulate you into an open relationship, it’s almost certainly not going to end well and you should really think about leaving.

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Jessica Bracken is a writer living in Davis, California. She covers entertainment and news for YourTango.