How Francesca Farago's Honest, Open Relationship With Trans Influencer Jesse Sullivan Leads By Example

Dating who you love shouldn't be newsworthy, regardless of someone's gender identity.

Francesca Farago francescafarago / Instagram

Francesca Farago from "Perfect Match" and "Too Hot To Handle" is using her sex appeael for good — and proving that Gen-Z has a lot to teach the older generations, like Gen-X and Boomers, simply in the way she lives and loves.

As someone who has publicly stated they could not be content in a monogamous relationship with a male or a female, she has now found love with transgender TikTok star, Jesse Sullivan, and their relationship is displayed publicly on her social media. 


As a sexy reality TV star and Gen Z icon, who she chooses to date influences society, and in this case, it shows that transgender folks, once rarely featured in mainstream media (and certainly not accurately) are no longer relegated to the sidelines in the media.

RELATED: What Being Transgender Feels Like


The evolution of gender and sexuality

The word "gender" has evolved. Gender identity refers to an individual's innate sense of being male, female or an alternative gender.

The issue in our society was that a large portion simply refused to accept any alternative gender. Transgender identity is associated with both being bullied and perpetrating bullying even when a range of variables including internal stress is taken into account.

Think about how incredibly challenging it was to go through puberty and find yourself. Now imagine having the added challenge of feeling as though you were born in the wrong body. Just because this experience is foreign to your own doesn't mean we shouldn't be accepting of those we don't understand. This demographic is in need of positive media attention to help shine a light.

We are in the era of the "influencers." Who people we see on TV choose to date and think highly of has a domino effect in society. If all the Kardashians started only dating trans, I can assure you transgender would be stylish.


It's unfortunate but some people with a large platform are making a difference.

RELATED: Francesca Farago Clarifies Her Relationship Status With Her Boyfriend As She Appears On Netflix's 'Perfect Match'

The power of celebrity for social good

I’m not saying that Francesca Farago is an activist, and don't mean to imply that she is carefully selecting who she dates to make a difference in society. I’m just pleased that someone with a big attentive following has chosen to publicly document her life as she fell in love with a trans man. This low-key and honest portrayal helps the trans community to have supporters with the power to influence society.

Of course, not all of society is ready to accept people as they are. This attention has led to death threats for Jesse, a tragic and common happening for people with marignalized identities who live open, public lives — but let's not allow that to overshadow the immense positive response it has also attained.


At first, seeing his girlfriend on the trailer for a Perfect Match, Jesse got very upset and left the house. Although Francesca claims she was single at the time of the filming it wouldn't be shocking to learn that reality TV isn't always reality. But this article isn't about her genuineness in seeking a perfect match on a show called, the Perfect Match.

This is about who she chooses to love in her private life and who she happens to share proudly with the world. Anyone who has seen her Instagram page or TikTok account can see a steady stream of proud girlfriend posts. 



She even publicly shows her support with a care package after her boyfriend's gender surgery. With fuzzy socks, scar cream, a journal, and various goodies.


Normally, I am not eager to put reality TV stars on a pedestal, and I wish we could live in a world where someone on TV chooses to date is irrelevant. But, because we are an impressionable species and many need to see something as socially acceptable to even consider it for themselves, I find this couple's openness and Francesca's support for the trans community to be inspiring.

So for that, I appreciate Francesca‘s love of the trans community. She is just a woman living her life openly, loving who she loves and sharing her life in ways others may not.

RELATED: I'm A Straight Man In Love With A Transgender Woman

Seeking empathy and understanding 

Some people cannot imagine what it's like to be transgender or why someone would "choose" to be trans. 


I often ask people to imagine waking up in the wrong body, being assigned the wrong gender, and then having to spend every waking minute of their youth putting together a plan to get themselves in the right body. It’s an overwhelming addition to all the struggles everyone already has growing up.

Unfortunately, many humans lack the empathy to truly understand how that feels because it’s so different from their own human experience. We live in a society in which people attempt to fit in.

Decisions are made and people comply. The color pink was once considered a manly color and now it is for girls. Changes in our views can occur but they happen gradually. 


People with societal influence speaking out helps to accelerate the process. I wish we didn’t need TV personalities and influencers to treat people with kindness for it to become popular but since we can’t change that about society let’s just take a minute to thank the people in entertainment who make a positive difference. 

RELATED: 5 Things You Learn When You Date Someone Who Is Transgender

Erika Jordan is an internationally acclaimed love and relationship expert, NLP practitioner, author, and media personality, and a leader in the field of digital romance and online dating.