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Men's Roman Empire fixation is an amusingly strange phenomenon, but the female version is a glimpse into just how dangerous being a woman can be.
By John Sundholm
Written on Sep 18, 2023
For what feels like ages now, people online have been talking about the strange phenomenon of men constantly thinking about the Roman Empire — an amusingly strange shared fixation that you can't help but chuckle at.
But what is the female version of the Roman Empire trend? Women online have some ideas, and it's anything but amusing.
Women online say the female version of the Roman Empire trend is constant thoughts about being kidnapped and assaulted.
The trend of men revealing their shared fixation on the Roman Empire has exploded in recent weeks, so much so that even newspapers like as The Washington Post have run articles about it. It's such a strange little glimpse into the male brain that the story has become irresistible for its hilarious weirdness.
Some of the theories for the female equivalent that have cropped up have been funny too — women have suggested everything from the Titanic disaster to the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire to the Regency Era popularized in books like "Pride and Prejudice" as candidates for the female counterpart.
But none of those have seemed to strike the same consensus among women that the Roman Empire has with men. What has, on the other hand, is near-constant thoughts about potentially being victims of violence.
When a TikToker asked female friends how often they think about being kidnapped or assaulted, many said 'every day.'
TikToker Dal Araùjo decided to poll her female friends after seeing another TikToker suggest kidnapping is the female version of the Roman Empire trend. Much like the male trend, she simply asked her friends, apropos of nothing, how often they think about getting kidnapped. The answers were disturbingly revealing.
"Maybe like 3-4 times a week," one woman responded. "Multiple times a day, basically whenever I'm out in public, or going anywhere alone," another answered. One woman said she thinks about the possibility of being kidnapped pretty much any time someone in public seems suspicious. Another said, "any time I'm alone."
That's a pretty staggering thing to think about — every time you're alone you think about the possibility of being the victim of a violent crime? For most men (this writer included), it's difficult to imagine going through the world this way, with a constant awareness that you could end up in danger at any moment.
But, of course, the statistics about violence against women don't really lie. According to the U.S. Department of State, there are an estimated 27.6 million human trafficking victims in the world at any given time, and 70% of them are women or girls.
And that's before we even talk about terrifying situations like the staggering rates of missing and murdered Indigenous women, the majority of cases of which go unsolved, and the rates at which women are sexually assaulted or harassed.
Many women online also said the female version of the Roman Empire trend is constantly thinking about being murdered.
While kidnapping and assault topped the list of many women's fixations, fears of being murdered seemed to be a close second.
A TikTok creator's video (@sophisticatedspreads) went viral after they asked women to name the "random thing" they all think about, and several women said they think about being killed on a regular basis.
One woman wrote that it "literally crosses my mind 10 times a day." Another wrote of thinking, "oh no, this is my time" any time she hears a noise in the house or sees a suspicious person in public. "That's not random," another woman on TikTok wrote. "We HAVE to think about those things."
And several commented to say that the men in their lives just don't get it. "My husband was shocked when I said I think about that basically everyday," one wrote. "My husband doesn’t get why this is a constant thing I think about," another added.
Here again, though, the fears are far from unfounded. Domestic violence incidents frequently turn deadly for women — while more men than women are murdered each year both worldwide and in the U.S., women are vastly more likely to be murdered by a family member or intimate partner, according the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics.
One 2018 study found that of all female murders in the U.S. that year, 92% were committed by a man they knew personally and 63% by a current or former romantic partner.
Is it any wonder then that such things are constantly on women's minds? There's a reason so many women are drawn to "true crime" TV shows and podcasts, after all.
If anything, looking at those statistics makes not feeling suspicious of men seem like the more unreasonable response. That's something that should give all of us, but especially men, a moment of pause.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.