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Childless Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Not Giving Up Her Days Off For Co-Worker With 3 Children

Photo: Jacob Lund / Shutterstock

A 27-year-old woman and her coworker got into a bit of a conflict after the woman refused to give her coworker her paid time off from work.

Her coworker is 41 years old, has 3 children, and has been working with the company for over 17 years — but that doesn’t mean that she’s entitled to other people’s time off.

Now she’s wondering if she’s the “a--hole” for not giving her coworker PTO to go on vacation with her kids.

The best place to go for an outside perspective on situations where you think you might’ve screwed up is the famous subreddit called “r/AmItheA--hole” (AITA), where strangers will pick you apart and put you back together into a rating that will judge your worthiness.

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To be, or not to be the “a--hole,” your rating will literally either be “Not the A--hole” (NTA) or “You’re the A--hole” (YTA) with some rarer ratings also existing.

In this story, the problem seems to be much more about the company’s policy than anything else — but her coworker is still the “a--hole.”

“We get 18 paid vacation days per year and unlimited sick days if we provide proof,” she said. “The vacation days are added to your balance on January 1st and accumulate if you don’t use them. We can give them to someone else.”

Rolling vacation days are nothing new, but a system that encourages the option to give your coworkers your paid time off creates a nasty environment, quite like the one she’s in now.

“This year, she used 10 of her days in January when her brother died and another 4 when her daughter got sick,” she wrote. “As a result, she only has 4 days for the rest of this year. I have been saving my days for a long vacation and have 44 days, so about 2 months worth saved up.”

Apparently, her coworker’s children want her to take them on vacation for a couple of weeks, but she doesn’t have the PTO, so she asked her.

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“Her justification is that I’m childless and don’t need that many days,” she said. “We do get a lot of PTO. I really want to go on a trip around Europe after the pandemic. She says she needs a break more than me.”

After telling her that she wouldn’t give her PTO up, her coworker said that it’s her fault “her kids’ dreams are being crushed.”

It’s no surprise that everyone on Reddit is on the poster’s side.

“NTA, why do you deserve any less of a break because she decided to have a family,” said a commenter. “Also that is an absolutely stupid rule by your company. Not taking PTO is the quickest way to burn out.”

This seems to be the sentiment of a lot of the comments on the post — that the mother is acting like she’s entitled to her PTO simply because she has children and the poster does not.

“This is the same as if someone was like ‘Hey can you come in and work my shifts but still give me all the pay,’” wrote another commenter.

While the company policy is controversial, someone shouldn’t be manipulated into giving up their PTO for their coworkers.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.