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Woman Sparks Debate By Expecting Parents To Pay For Her Entire Wedding After They Said They Can’t Afford Full Cost

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Woman arguing with mother

A woman wants to know if she is an a**hole for expecting her parents to pay for her entire wedding, like they paid for her sisters. 

The woman turned to Reddit to seek advice and explained that “as early as middle school, I remember my dad joking to his friends about when he can retire from his job because he has to save up for his two daughters' weddings."

"I tried to discuss budgets with them in February of 2020 while we were on vacation together and they reiterated that they'll pay for my wedding, full stop.” 

She continued, “I asked if I had a smaller wedding if I could have the remainder of the budget and they said, no, they'll pay for my wedding. I asked what my budget was and they said that we'd discuss it when the time came.” 

The woman then goes on to describe how her parents had paid for her sister’s college expenses not covered by scholarships, as well as the entirety of her wedding. 

She, however, didn't go to college so her parents never gave her the college fund they had saved.

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“My sister got married 7+ years ago, literally days after her college graduation, in a rural area 3 hours west from where my parents lived in our hometown city, but it was where her husband's family is and where they settled,” she said. 

She explains that since then, both of her parents have retired and she moved to be about 5 hours drive away from them. She is now engaged and ready for her parents to pay for a wedding for her where she is living.

However, her parents say they can only afford to pay the same amount as her sister’s wedding. 

According to the woman, the average cost of a wedding in her state is more than double what her parents had spent on her sister. 

Her parents had offered to pay the same amount as they had for her sibling, but she felt it was favoritism. 

"My parents can definitely afford to contribute more. They take a big vacation every year — cruises, road trips, theme parks for 10 days at a time," she writes.

She explained that her sister had “all expenses paid for through 22 years old, but I've been on my own financially since I was 18 because she ‘made different choices in life’.”

"Well, these were my choices in life: to marry a white collar man in a city in 2022 at 29, instead of a blue collar man in the country in 2015 at 22," she writes.

After the discussion her parents raised their contribution to the budget, but her and her fiance will still have to pay $10k. 

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She ends the post with saying, “AITA [am I the a**hole] for still being bitter every time I look at my wedding budget because it feels like favoritism to me?”  

Advice-givers on Reddit believe she is in the wrong. 

It seems like several people believe she is wrong for asking for more money. 

The top comment on the thread reads, “YTA [you're the a**hole.] Apparently your sister was more mature in 2015 than you are in 2022. It seem like you are judging your blue collar BIL [brother-in-law] also, but clearly proud of your white collar man who can't afford to pay for his own wedding.” 

Another user said, “found a comment where OP [original poster] says wedding is 35k total which means her parents are gifting her 25k!!!!"

"I could never justify that much money on a party and would not feel comfortable taking that kind of money from my parents even if they could afford it and offered. The total wedding cost is more money than I'm putting down as a deposit on a 250k house for perspective."

However, a few believe everyone is to blame. 

One user seems to think everyone in this scenario did something wrong. 

The comment reads, “I'm closer to ESH (everyone sucks here) than the majority of people. The parents kept saying they would pay for the whole thing. I do think it's AHish to insist that's what they are doing and then suddenly say they'll only pay what they paid for her sister."

"BUT it's definitely an AH move to demand someone pay an additional $10k when they are already gifting $25k. If OP and her finacé don't have $10k they can spend on the wedding, they can either postpone and save up or make some cuts so the wedding only costs $25k. Her parents are very generous to give that much money.” 

The woman later clarified that her and her fiance can afford to match whatever they pay, but believes it will take away from what they could be paying for their family home. 

Regardless, it seems like her parents are being very generous! 

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Sydney Taylor is a writer who focuses on News and Entertainment topics.