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Her parents agreed to pay for her wedding in full — until they saw the price.
By Sydney Taylor
Last updated on Mar 10, 2024
While most people would be grateful for any contribution from their parents to go towards their wedding day, one woman feels let down after receiving what she considered an unfair monetary contribution.
The woman claimed that her parents have always promised to pay for her wedding.
"As early as middle school, I remember my dad joking to his friends about when he can retire from his job because he has to save up for his two daughters' weddings," the woman wrote.
While this is a comment many parents may make in jest, she claimed that her parents have always doubled-down on this statement. She claimed that when she asked them to discuss any budget contraints, "they said that we'd discuss it when the time came.”
The woman then goes on to describe how her parents had paid for her sister’s college expenses not covered by scholarships, as well as the entirety of her wedding. She, however, didn't go to college so her parents never gave her the college fund they had saved. Instead, she claimed they put into their retirement fund.
When the time came to begin wedding planning, her parents agreed to pay what they paid for her sister's wedding.
At the outset, this seems fair. However, the woman goes on to explain that her sister's wedding was over seven years ago. Along with everything else, the average wedding cost has increased exponentially since then, with experts estimating the average price of a wedding in 2024 to be over $35,000, according to The Knot's Real Weddings study — roughly $10,000 more than what it cost to have a wedding in 2015, when the woman's sister got married.
"My parents can definitely afford to contribute more," she concluded, noting that "They take a big vacation every year — cruises, road trips, theme parks for 10 days at a time." In addition, she explained that her sister had “all expenses paid for through 22 years old, but I've been on my own financially since I was 18 because she ‘made different choices in life’,” including choosing to go to college and get married young.
After the discussion, her parents raised their contribution to the budget, but her and her fiance will still have to pay $10K, which left her wondering if she was in the wrong for "still being bitter every time I look at my wedding budget because it feels like favoritism to me?”
It's critical for parents and their children to discuss a wedding budget before making any promises or starting the planning process.
While some people in the Reddit comments believed the woman was in the wrong for being ungrateful for her parents' contribution, others pointed out that she tried to agree to a budget before finalizing her wedding plans.
As one person wrote, “The parents kept saying they would pay for the whole thing. I do think it's AHish to insist that's what they are doing and then suddenly say they'll only pay what they paid for her sister."
According to Andy Anthony, a wedding planner and coordinator based in Portland, Oregon, wedding costs vary far too widely to start planning without a set budget.
"My advice is to sit down with the parents and say, 'we are so grateful that you're willing to contribute, but if we don't know how much you're willing to contribute, we don't know what our budget is'," Anthony said in a TikTok video.
That said, the Reddit commenter agreed that it was equally unfair "to demand someone pay an additional $10k when they are already gifting $25k."
"Her parents are very generous to give that much money,” they wrote.
Ultimately, as with most things, avoiding situations such as this one is more likely with open and honest communication that manages expectations from the start.
Sydney Taylor is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics.