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He's got some nerve.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Nov 18, 2022
A 29-year-old man took to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) to get feedback on his request to introduce his 10-year-old daughter to his girlfriend of ten months.
He starts by expressing his frustration with finding unbiased opinions and hopes that the good people of AITA can give him some good advice.
His post begins with him admitting that he certainly won’t be receiving any father-of-the-year awards.
The Redditor wrote, “And there’s no real way to sugarcoat this but as soon as she was born, I left and I never ended up seeing her in the hospital as a baby.”
He goes on to say that he was never really present in her life and ended up divorcing her mother eleven months after he abandoned his family.
The mother, of course, got full custody of the daughter they shared.
To give readers some insight into his mindset, he says, “I married young, was really stupid and thought I’d end up being a good dad despite no skills but got scared that I’d turn out like my dad and chickened out.”
He claims he’s not making excuses, although it sounds an awful lot like he is.
To make matters worse, he says that he paid child support for three years and stopped, offering no explanation as to why.
Fast forward to the present day, he is speaking with his ex-wife, whom he refers to as “the girl’s mother," about reconnecting with his long, lost child, but she is strongly against it.
The man then says, “I just really want to make things right, but I will respect their decision.”
He adds that he has only seen his daughter a few times in her ten years of life.
Luckily, although he couldn’t be bothered to pursue his child, he has made time to find love and has been with a 28-year-old woman for ten months — he believes they are meant to be.
While chatting with his ex-wife, he brought up the possibility of his new woman meeting his daughter.
Understandably, the mother is staunchly against it, since he, himself isn’t even familiar with the child.
He justifies the idea, stating, “But if I want to reintroduce her into my life isn’t it fair that she gets to see my life too?”
“Her mother says it’s a very bad idea, so it’s making me think I am, but I just genuinely cannot see why.” In closing, he talks about how much he cares for this new lady in his life and wants a “two-sided” relationship where he can “show her his life.”
Now he had turned to our favorite pseudo-psychologists to see if they support his mission to involve his daughter in the lives of him and his newfound friend with benefits.
Redditors did not hold back when calling him out.
The first commenter posted, “YTA (you are the a—hole) for a few reasons. [You] paid child support for the first 3 years but stopped afterwards. Why?”
“[You said] But if I want to reintroduce her into my life isn’t it fair that she gets to see my life too? Not if she doesn't even know that you are her father. And not if you are not BEHAVING as her father.”
The user finishes by advising, “Quit being a selfish a--hole and leave this poor child alone. You can't even support her financially, but want to talk about fairness?”
That comment was upvoted almost 40,000 times.
From there, commenters were off to the races, verbally slapping the deadbeat dad back and forth.
One comment read, “Sounds like OP (original poster) owes 7 years’ worth of child support before he gets any say. After that, it’s still going to be a long ‘prove it’ that he’s serious about being in the kid’s life."
Another user noted, “He’s doing it for all the wrong reasons. Why try to mend things all of a sudden? I don’t think it’s a coincidence now that he’s with a girl and trying to do 'better.' He just wants to seem better.”
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment & news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.