Photo: Halfpoint / Shutterstock
She has a good reason...
By Nia Tipton — Written on Sep 18, 2022
A mother is wondering if she's in the wrong for refusing to drive her daughter to the wedding of her ex-husband and the woman he cheated on her with.
Posting to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A-hole), the woman, 42, explained that she and her ex-husband, 45, had been together for 20 years and share their daughter, Joceline, 14.
They ended up getting divorced five years ago after her ex-husband cheated on her, which was only made worse after he "ended up in a relationship" with the woman he'd cheated on her with.
Now, her ex is getting remarried but she doesn't want her daughter to attend.
"They got engaged one year later and are set to be married in two weeks. Honestly, I still am heartbroken over my divorce. It’s hurtful to me that we were together for 20 years, and he could just go fall in love with someone else, as if I was nothing," she wrote in the Reddit post.
Despite her marriage ending, the woman doesn't want her bitterness toward her ex-husband to get in the way of him and their daughter spending time together.
"Joceline loves his fiancée as she’s very sweet to her, but she doesn’t know the reason why her dad and I divorced, I want to tell her when she’s a bit older and he doesn’t want to tell her at all," the woman explained.
She ended up compromising with her ex-husband that their daughter could attend his wedding, but that he would have to be the one to pick her up and drop her back home, which her ex-husband agreed to.
"I don’t want to drop my daughter off at his wedding, I don’t want to see all the decorations and the happy guests, it’d just be too much for me."
However, the woman's ex-husband ended up calling her after the fact, telling her that he wouldn't be able to pick up their daughter because his in-laws were flying in and he needed to pick them up from the airport.
He asked his ex-wife if she would be able to drop their daughter off at the wedding venue, but she refused, asking why he couldn't pick Joceline up the day before.
He told her that he "didn't want to make the drive twice" and risk being late for the rehearsal dinner.
When she asked him why his fiancée couldn't pick up her parents, he replied that she would be "getting her hair done."
"I laughed and told him there was no way I’d take my daughter, and that he’d have to figure it out," the woman wrote, adding that she immediately regretted saying it because now her daughter is upset.
After having the conversation with her ex-husband, the woman's daughter called her "terrible" and accused her of "not wanting her to spend time with her dad."
As the mother tried to explain to Joceline that she was wrong, and that wasn't the reason at all, her daughter demanded to know what the actual reason was, but she refused to tell her the real reason.
"I couldn’t give her an answer and she ran upstairs crying," she shared.
Now the mother is receiving messages from her ex-husband's family, calling her "cold," and "heartless," for refusing to drive their daughter to his wedding.
Under the woman's Reddit post, most people agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole), but that her daughter is probably old enough now to know the real reason why her parents split up.
"The people he needs to pick up can get a taxi. His first responsibility should be to his daughter, if he actually wants her there," one user wrote.
"And I think it might be time to tell your daughter a bit more about what happened."
Another user added: "I would tell [her] that while I love her and I love that she has a good relationship with her dad and her future stepmom, I can't handle seeing their wedding when they started dating while dad and I were still married."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.