You Were Perfect On Paper, But You Weren't Perfect For Me

Photo: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
woman and man in woods

By Isabelle Zanzer

On paper, you’re perfect. 

On paper, you would satisfy every family’s expectation on what they believe the perfect significant other would look like.

On paper, you could make anyone’s dreams come true.

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On paper, you could give anyone a beautiful family, a beautiful home with a front porch to watch the kids play on weekends.

On paper, you’re perfect. Perfect features. Perfect job. Perfect everything.

But if there’s one thing I’ve experienced and a dozen Hallmark movies taught me is that the heart sees beyond the perfection.

Your heart will know if he isn’t the one for you, when his presence doesn’t excite you and they are not the first person you search for in room filled of strangers.

On paper, they may be everything you ever wanted.

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But what if that ended up being exactly what you didn’t want? 

You know they would fit perfectly into your life, like another piece of a puzzle. Your brain knows, but your heart disagrees.

Your heart sees things differently. Your heart goes against perfection and against everything you thought to be right. 

Your heart will know if the person isn’t the one for you.

Your heart knows, and just because the person may be perfect on paper does not make them perfect for you.

I may have checklists, and so do you. But what do they mean? Does the perfect person actually exist

I’m afraid I’m here to tell you that they don’t. 

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The person satisfying that checklist is not the one for you. You cannot express your future S.O. in words, but your heart will know. Your heart always knows.

Contrary to popular belief, love isn’t an difficult concept to understand. 

To love is to feel connected to, care about, need and even slightly obsesses over the person (that’s perfectly normal, I promise!).

Relationships can never be perfect because people aren’t perfect.

At least not in reality.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t find, create and nurture the kind of love that lasts the test of time. But not on paper.

The question is, therefore: are you going to listen to the beating rhythm of your heart telling you what deep inside you already know? Or are you going to follow your checklist of “the perfect match?”

Because that person may be perfect on paper, but that’s where their perfection begins and ends: on paper.

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Isabelle Zanzer is a writer, storyteller and LLM Graduate of Sorbonne-Assas International Law School whose work has appeared in Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and Unwritten. She's currently a writer and editor for Mogul, MillionairesView, and Thought Catalog. Follow her on Twitter or visit her profile on Medium for more of her work.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.