Why Armie Hammer's Kinks Shouldn't Be Another Woman's Trauma

Ignoring consent is not a kink.

Why Armie Hammer's Kinks Shouldn't Be Another Woman's Trauma Tinseltown / Shutterstock

Leaked messages and graphic DMs allegedly sent by Armie Hammer reveal the actor’s dark side. 

Social media is still trying to pick their jaws off the floor after reading graphic messages discussing cannibalism and disturbing sex acts that were allegedly sent by the Call Me By Your Name actor. 

An anonymous woman behind the Instagram account House Of Effie came forward on Jan. 12 with several screenshots posted to her story that include alleged accounts of explicit sexual desires. 


One screenshot reads, "I am 100 per cent a cannibal. I want to eat you," while another exchange includes, "I need to drink your blood." 

Screenshots of text conversations with House Of Effie claiming to have made the whole situation up have been circulating but the woman behind the Instagram account says these images have been photoshopped by Armie’s fans and are fake. 


House Of Effie also shared images allegedly sent by Hammer that show the hand tattoo the actor has on his ring finger. This tattoo covers a tattoo of his ex-wife Elizabeth Chambers’ initials. 

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Armie Hammer initially came under scrutiny in 2017 after he was spotted liking a series of tweets about BDSM sex acts.

Over the course of summer 2020, rumors of Hammer’s sexual exploits circulated again after he and his wife of 10 years, Elizabeth, announced their divorce. 

Many fans were quick to come to Hammer’s defense by arguing that one man’s sexual desires and kinks should not be the source of ridicule and mocking. And, for the most part, this is a fair statement. 


The practice of bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism is not something to be sneered at so long as boundaries of safety and consent are observed. 

But if the recent revelations about the extent of Hammer’s actions are to be believed, it is clear that defending this kind of behavior and labeling it as a “kink” enables abuse and discredits victims. 

The woman behind the allegations shared messages from an account she claims belongs to Hammer that discussed strapping a belt around her neck during sex. In her reply, she warned him, “No that’s too much”. 

She then shared images of her bruised neck and implied that the actor had clasped the belt around her without her consent. 


This isn’t kink-shaming; this is exposing an abuser.

She was also vocal about the abuse and harassment she has received since coming forward, an experience that is all too familiar to survivors who mustered up the courage to tell their sexual abuse stories only to have it thrown back in their face. 

To imply that this allegation is simply a kink gone wrong discredits both abuse survivors and those who engage in consensual BDSM. 


The lines of consent should be strictly observed in all sexual encounters, regardless of what other role plays or fetishes are involved. And if one party feels this consent was breached, who are we as uninformed bystanders to say otherwise? 

In a 2013 interview, Hammer previously discussed his “wild” sexual habits that he had quashed after his marriage saying, “It gets to a point where you say, “I respect you too much to do these things that I kind of want to do.”’

This implies that Hammer has always misunderstood the lines of consent during sex. Doing “things that I want to do” should never involve disrespecting your partner if you’re asking for your partners’ consent. 

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Armie Hammer’s ex is calling for an end to his behavior. 

As fans of the Rebecca actor rushed to undermine the woman making these allegations, one person who refused to be silenced was Jessica Ciencin Henriquez

The writer, who was previously married to Josh Lucas, was spotted with Hammer in September, sparking dating rumors. But Jessica was quick to come to the defense of women accusing the actor of abuse. 

She stressed the importance of believing victims over abusers, writing in an Instagram story:


“If you are still questioning whether or not those Armie Hammer DMs are real (and they are) maybe you should start questioning why we live in a culture willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt instead of victims.”

This kind of support is a stark contrast to the slut-shaming and victim-blaming being directed at the anonymous woman across social media from people labeling her trauma as some kind of quest for fame or attention. 

Hammer’s silence on the matter is also deafening. The actor, who has returned to the Cayman Islands after months of living apart from his children, has yet to speak out about the leaked messages. 

This calls into question why people are so quick to defend a man who hasn’t even attempted to defend himself? 


When an ex-girlfriend and a woman claiming to have had a sexual relationship with Hammer are bravely speaking about trauma and suffering, why stand on the side of a possible abuser who has forced his kinks on others without their consent? 

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Alice Kelly is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York. She has a passion for pop culture and social justice. Catch her covering entertainment, news, and trending topics.