Family

220 Best Jokes For Kids So Funny The Whole Family Will Laugh

Photo: shutterstock
220 Best Jokes For Kids So Funny The Whole Family Will Laugh

Kids love to make people laugh, but what they really like is giving themselves the giggles. Once a joke hits with them, they can say it over and over again, and it remains hilariously funny.

For the people listening to these jokes for kids, hearing it 100 times can be annoying, especially if the joke wasn't any good in the first place. The trick is to give kids a bunch of jokes so they always have something to tickle their funny bone.

Luckily, we've collected some classic jokes for kids that aren't too silly for grown-ups to enjoy. And there's plenty of clever wordplay, structured jokes, and even knock-knock jokes.

RELATED: 75 Dr. Seuss Quotes Full Of Inspirational, Funny Words Of Wisdom

Telling jokes is good for your child because it gives them confidence, helps them with timing and getting comfortable speaking in front of an audience, and develops their sense of humor. Laughing together is a bonding experience and a mood booster for everyone.

Times are tense right now, and these funny jokes for kids will help everybody in the family to relax and enjoy the hilarious side of life.

Best Corny Jokes

1. Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

2. Why didn't the duck pay for the lip balm? 

He wanted to put it on his bill.

3. Why did Darth Vader turn off one light?

He prefers it on the dark side.

4. What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

5. How do you throw a party on Mars?

You planet.

6. Do you have holes in your underwear?

No?

So how do you put your legs through?

7. What did the frog order at McDonald's?

French flies and Diet Croak.

8. Why did the girl throw a stick of butter out the window? 

To see butter-fly.

9. Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They both got 6 months.

10. Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?

Because he was stuffed.

11. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for his birthday?

He felt his presents.

12. What does a vampire take for a sore throat?

Coffin drops.

13. What's green, has six legs, and if it drops out of a tree onto you will kill you? 

A pool table.

14. Why did the boy throw a clock out the window?

To see time fly.

15. What's black and white and red all over?

An embarrassed zebra.

16. Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?

Because she runs away from the ball.

17. What did one eye say to the other?

Between us, something smells.

18. What's faster: hot or cold?

Hot, because everyone catches a cold.

19. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8 (ate), 9.

20. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?

The lettuce was "ahead" but the tomato was trying to "catch up."

21. Is your refrigerator running?

You better go catch it.

22. Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

23. How do you learn to be a trash collector?

Just pick it up as you go along.

24. What would a bear say if he got confused?

I barely understand.

25. Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

26. What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

27. Why did the girl eat her homework?

Her teacher said it was a piece of cake.

28. What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me and we'll go places!

29. Where does a snowman keep his money?

A snow bank.

30. Why couldn't the pony sing?

She was a little horse.

31. Why was the weightlifter frustrated?

He was surrounded by dumbbells.

32. How does a cucumber become a pickle? 

It goes through a jarring experience.

33. Why did the scuba divers laugh when they got near the coral reef?

Because they saw a clownfish.

34. Why did the melon jump in the lake?

Because she wanted to be a watermelon.

35. Why didn't the teddy bear want dessert? 

She was stuffed.

36. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.

37. How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

38. What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?

A power plant.

39. Where do polar bears go to vote?

The North Poll.

40. How did the egg get up the mountain?

He scrambled up.

41. What did one plate say to the other?

Dinner's on me!

42. How do you keep a bull from charging?

Take away its credit card.

43. Why can't Elsa have a balloon?

Because she'll let it go.

44. When will the little snake arrive? 

I don't know, but he won't be long.

45. What did the food critic think about the restaurant on the moon?

It was good, but it had no atmosphere.

46. Why was the mother firefly so happy?

Because all her children were so bright.

47. Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

48. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock. 

49. What did the ocean say when it saw the storm coming? 

Nothing, it just waved.

50. Why was the elevator angry?

People kept pushing its buttons.

51. Why do people go to a baseball stadium on a hot day?

Because it's full of fans.

52. How did the cheese get hurt at school?

It was grated too hard.

53. Why can't you walk behind a car?

You'll get too exhausted.

54. How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

55. Where do hamburgers go dancing?

A meatball.

56. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree.

57. How much do dead batteries cost?

Nothing. They are free of charge.

58. Why did the banker lose his job? 

He lost interest.

59. What is an artist's favorite brand of shoes?

Sketchers.

60. Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

They got stuck at C.

61. Why did the orange lose the race?

It ran out of juice.

62. Why did the retired soccer player need a lighter?

Because he didn't have any more matches.

63. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip.

64. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frost bite.

65. How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogey in it!

66. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

67. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? 

That hit the spot.

68. How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern...

68. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

69. What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling.

70. What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite.

71. What kind of water cannot freeze?

Hot water.

RELATED: 5 Funny Kids Cartoons You'll Enjoy As Much As Your Children Do

72. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because he felt crummy.

73. Why was the baby strawberry crying?

Because her parents were in a jam.

74. What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis.

75. How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

76. What animal is always at a baseball game?

A bat.

77. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? 

Snow.

78. What do you call a ghost's true love?

His ghoul-friend.

79. How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

80. How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

81. How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night.

82. What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

83. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

84. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because she wanted to go to high school.

85. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A blood orange.

86. Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

He had no body to dance with.

87. What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel.

88. What do you call two bananas?

Slippers.

89. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

90. What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

91. Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

92. Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

93. What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi, bud!

94. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary? 

The thesaurus. 

95. What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

96. What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

You look flushed.

97. What happened when the skunk was on trial?

The judge declared, "Odor in the court, odor in the court!"

98. What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer!

99. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.

100. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?

A walkie talkie.

101. Why are robots never afraid?

They have nerves of steel.

102. What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs.

103. What does a book do in the winter?

Puts on a jacket.

104. Why can't you play hockey with pigs?

They always hog the puck.

105. Why do porcupines always win the game?

They have the most points.

106. What does bread do on vacation?

Loaf around.

107. What part of the fish weighs the most? 

The scales.

108. What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?

I scream.

109. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?

Because her students were so bright.

110. What time do ducks wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

111. Why did the giraffes get bad grades?

She had her head in the clouds.

112. How do you pay for parking in space?

A parking meteor.

113. What room is impossible to enter?

A mushroom.

114. What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?

A teapot.

115. Why is there a gate around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

116. How does a hurricane see?

With one eye. 

117. Why do scissors always win a race?

Because they take a shortcut.

118. How do you stop a bull from charging?

You unplug it.

119. What is a pirate's favorite body part?

The booty.

120. Why did the picture go to prison?

Because it was framed.

121. What kind of key opens a banana?

A monkey.

122. Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.

123. Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

Then it hit me.

124. How does Harry Potter go down a hill?

J. K. Rolling.

125. Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Best Pun Jokes

126. What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

127. What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

128. What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese.

129. What do bumblebees chew?

Bumble gum.

130. What did the nut say when it got a cold?

Cashew.

131. What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemon aid.

132. What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

133. Where is the best place to shop for lightsabers?

The Darth Maul.

134. What do English teachers eat for breakfast?

Synonym Buns.

135. Where do pencils go on vacation? 

Pencil-Vania.

136. Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store.

137. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Thunderwear.

138. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore.

139. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

140. What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.

141. What do you call two birds in love? 

Tweethearts.

142. How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickles.

143. What do elves learn in school?

The Elf-abet.

144. What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious.

145. What part of your body can cause the end of the world?

Your apoco-lips.

146. Why was the broom running late?

It over-swept.

147. Where do sheep go on vacation?

The Baaa-hamas.

148. What day of the week are most twins born on?

Twos-Day.

149. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Primates.

RELATED: 125 Corny Jokes So Cheesy They're Really Funny

150. What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

Yamahahaha.

151. Why didn't the koala bear get the job?

They said she was over-koala-fied.

152. When is it time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty (2:30).

153. Be careful when walking your dog.

You might step in a Poo... dle.

154. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?

Because they are fungis.

155. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn't peeling well.

156. What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?

"I Apollo-gize."

157. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?

A pie-thon.

158. What's Irish and always outside?

Patty O'Furniture.

159. What makes music on your hair?

A headband.

160. What do you can an underwater spy?

James Pond.

161. My dog can do tricks.

It’s a Labracadabrador.

162. What do you call a knight who's afraid to fight?

Sir Render.

163. What was the most popular dance in 1776?

Indepen-dance.

164. What do you get when you plant kisses?

Two-lips.

165. What's a cat's favorite color?

Purrr-ple.

Best Knock-Knock Jokes

166. Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting Pirate

Interrupting pir—yarrrr

167. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Dishes

Dishes me, who are you?

168. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Donut 

Donut who?

Donut ask me, I just got here.

169. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Ireland 

Ireland, who?

Ireland you my umbrella, you're going to need it.

170. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Manatee

Manatee, who?

Manatee would be better than a sweater today, it's hot!

171. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Contr — Control freak who?

172. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow

Interrupting cow w — Moo!

173. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

174. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Scold

Scold who?

Scold outside, let me in!

175. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Cargo

Cargo who?

Cargo "Toot, Toot, Vroom, Vroom"

176. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Hatch

Hatch who?

Bless you!

177. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Annie

Annie who?

Annie body home?

178. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Don't cry, it's just a joke.

179. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Cows go

Cows go who? 

No, silly! Cows go moo.

180. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Owls go

Owls go who? 

That's right!

181. Knock Knock

Who's there?

A little old lady

A little old lady who

I didn't know you could yodel!

182. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Nana

Nana who?

Nana your business!

183. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Spell

Spell who?

Okay, W-H-O.

184. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Toodle

Toodle who?

Toddle-loo to you, too! 

185. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Lena

Lena who?

Lena little closer, and I'll tell you another joke.

186. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Quiche

Quiche who?

Can I have a hug and a quiche?

187. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Wa

Wa who?

What are you so excited about?

188. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Adore

Adore who?

A door is between you and me, so please open up!

189. Knock Knock

Who's there?

I am

I am who?

Don't you even know who you are?

190. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Hike

Hike who?

I didn't know you liked Japanese poetry.

191. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Candice

Candice who?

Candice joke get any worse?

RELATED: 20 Motivational Quotes To Make Your Kids Feel Powerful And Inspired

192. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Alex

Alex who?

Alex explain when you open the door.

193. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Nunya 

Nunya who?

Nunya business!

194. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Oscar

Oscar who?

Oscar a silly question and get a silly answer.

195. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Conrad

Conrad who?

Conrad-ulations! That was a good knock-knock joke.

196. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Deja

Deja who?

Knock Knock

197. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning.

198. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Ya

Ya who?

No, thanks, I use Google. 

199. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Cantaloupe

Cantaloupe who?

Cantaloupe to Vegas! You're too young.

200. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Art

Art who?

R2-D2.

201. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Says

Says who?

Says me, that's who!

202. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Amos

Amos who?

A mosquito!

203. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Howard

Howard who?

Howard I know?

204. Knock Knock

Who's there?

A Mayan

A Mayan who? 

A Mayan the way?

205. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Icing

Icing who?

Icing so loud so everyone can hear me.

206. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Canoe 

Canoe who?

Canoe come out and play? I'm bored.

207. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gorilla 

Gorilla who?

Gorilla me a hamburger, I'm hungry!

208. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Tennis 

Tennis who?

Tennis is five plus five.

209. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Kanga

Kanga who?

Actually, it's kangaroo.

210. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Olive

Olive who?

Olive you.

211. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Urine

Urine who?

Urine in trouble if you don't answer the door.

212. Knock Knock

Who's there?

A herd 

A herd who?

A herd you were home, so I came over.

213. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Abby

Abby who?

Abby birthday to you!

214. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Two Knee

Two knee who?

Two knee your piano, it will sound better.

215. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Closure

Closure who?

Closure your mouth while you're eating.

216. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Turnip 

Turnip who?

Turnip the volume, I love this song!

217. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Pecan

Pecan who?

Pecan somebody your own size.

218. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gray Z

Gray Z who?

Gray Z mixed up kid.

219. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Anita

Anita who?

Anita borrow a pencil.

220. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Annie

Annie who?

Annie thing you can do, I can do better.

RELATED: People With A Dark Sense Of Humor Are More Intelligent, Says Study

Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day. Visit her website or and her Instagram.