Paris Jackson Opens Up About Her Suicide Attempt And Struggle With Self-Harm After Michael Jackson’s Death
The musician and model got candid about her struggles during an episode of 'Unfiltered.'
Tinseltown / Shutterstock The 22-year-old daughter of the late singer Michael Jackson got candid about her struggle with self-harm, body image issues, and previous suicide attempts in an episode of her Facebook Watch show, Unfiltered.
The episode starts out with Paris being asked the question, “What’s it like to be so beautiful?”
“That is a weird question,” she says. “No one has ever asked me, ‘What’s it like to be beautiful?’ Because...I’ve never been asked that before. That’s a curveball, because I do think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I think I’m more than what I look like. If someone finds me beautiful then I really appreciate that because I have a lot of insecurities.”
Paris, who’s in a band called The Soundflowers with her partner Gabriel Glenn, admits that there are a “few things” she would change about herself. “I’m not even close to loving myself,” she says.
Paris goes on to reveal that growing up, she and her brothers were always around “healthy food” and lived a healthy lifestyle. "Growing up, I was only allowed to have cane sugar or brown sugar instead of white sugar; we had to have wheat instead of white flour," she says.
But after her famous dad passed away in 2009 and she moved in with her grandmother, she started to gain weight. “There were no rules; soda and cake all the time,” she says.
“I gained a lot of weight and it became an addiction,” she continues, referring to her relationship with food after her father's untimely passing.
“And then a cousin called me fat, so I was like, ‘Okay, I can't do that anymore.’ And that's how I fell into self-harm.”
“I would cut and burn myself,” she admits. “I never thought that I would die from it because I was always in control of the razor and I knew how deep I was going. Part of it was the dopamine release. Dopamine is called 'dope' for a reason; it feels good."
Paris then reveals that whatever caused her physical pain was a way to get her mind off of her emotional pain. "Self-harm was one of them, tattoos was one of them. It was a distraction from emotional pain.”
She then confesses, “Yes, I tried to kill myself many times.” One of those suicide attempts was when she was only 15 years old.
The 22-year-old musician tells viewers that she doesn’t take medication now for her depression for a very specific reason. “It just kind of clouded my third eye. I couldn't laugh as deeply,” she reveals, adding, “You can't numb the bad without numbing the good.”
“So even though the lows are unbearably low, I would still rather that than nothing,” she continues. “Pain is way better than just [being] numb, because at least you're feeling something.”
Although Paris admittedly still struggles with her self-image, it is important to note that by being so candid, she is doing a huge service for her fans, supporters, and others who struggle with similar feelings by being so open about the obstacles she’s faced — and overcome — throughout her young life. What else can we do other than applaud her bravery and honesty?
If you or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm, contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to your nearest hospital to get help. You are worth it.
Olivia Jakiel is an editor and writer who covers celebrity and entertainment news.