What Is Limerence? + 10 Signs You're In A Fantasy Relationship, Not A Real One

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What Is Limerence? + 10 Signs You're In A Fantasy Relationship, Not A Real One
Love, Heartbreak

By Alexandra Hall

Love. This one word alone has the potential to evoke a thousand feelings in you, and it is something that everyone is looking for in their lives. Love truly makes the world go round.

In the walk of life, you will come across different kinds of love and relationships. One of these relationships is fantasy relationships.

A fantasy relationship is a one-sided relationship where one person develops feelings for the other person and obsesses over being in a romantic relationship with them. Also known as limerence, it includes constantly daydreaming and fantasizing about their object of attraction. 

RELATED: Wake Up, Honey! 3 Foolish Fantasies That Are Keeping You Single!

Here are the 10 signs that you are in a fantasy relationship.

1. You daydream about them all day, every day.

Even if you are not in a relationship with the person you are attracted to, you will find yourself constantly imagining scenarios where both of you are together and happy. Additionally, you will also dream of a happy and perfect future with him.

Daydreaming and fantasizing about the person you are attracted to becomes a habit. You will conjure up all sorts of fictional and romantic situations in your head, where he is hopelessly and madly in love with you.

2. You notice physical symptoms of nervousness.

If you are in a fantasy relationship, you will experience physical symptoms, like having anxiety when you are waiting for their calls and texts. You might feel extremely nervous and start sweating before talking to them, and constantly rehearse what you are going to say. 

Moreover, if you are with them or close to them, you might feel dizzy or faint.

3. You are the ‘hero’ in the ‘relationship.’

When you fantasize about the person you like, those fantasies tend to have a common element: you are the hero who always saves him from dangerous situations, and this makes him fall in love with you instantly. 

This kind of a heroic tendency sometimes spills on to your real life as well, with you feeling extremely protective of him.

4. Stalking becomes a possibility.

When in a fantasy relationship, the attraction you feel for the other person is very potent. You find it very difficult to stay away from him. So, you will find ways to be nearer or closer to them by dropping at places which he regularly visits. 

For example, you will "bump" into him at his favorite coffee shop, and pretend that it is just a fortunate coincidence. However, make sure that you don’t come across as a stalker, because that is extremely creepy and might give him the wrong idea about you.

5. He's your ‘soulmate.’

Emotionally, you feel that they are "The One" for you, and both of you are meant to be together. You feel a strong and magnetic pull towards them, which is impossible for you to ignore. 

Even though you hardly know each other, you are convinced that he is your soulmate.

RELATED: 4 Honest Reasons Your 'Knight In Shining Armor' Never Existed

6. You find them faultless.

One of the biggest signs that you are in a fantasy relationship is when you idealize them to the extent that they can never go wrong in your eyes.

So, even if they are the worst person in this world and indulge in questionable activities, you find yourself defending them fiercely. For you, they are nothing short of flawless, infallible and perfect.

7. You feel jealous of anyone who's interested in them.

Jealousy plays a huge part when it comes to a fantasy relationship. You will notice feelings of immense jealousy when other people feel attracted to them. The fact that the person you are attracted to can be attracted to someone else other than you is unfathomable. 

You just cannot imagine them with somebody else. There is no real commitment between you two, but you feel a certain sense of loyalty towards him, which makes you reject the people who might be potentially interested in you.

8. You're constantly looking for clues.

You constantly try to read between the lines, when it comes to your fantasy relationship. Trying to find hidden meanings in everything they say or do becomes like second nature to you. 

Looking for clues and evidence that they also like you is something that takes up most of your time, as you desperately search for a glimmer of hope that you might have a future with them after all.

9. You experience ‘withdrawal’ symptoms.

If, by any chance, he withdraws from you or stops talking to you, you fall into a deep depression. Since you have never imagined a life without him, you feel completely lost and empty. 

You start experiencing extreme mood swings, like feeling euphoric when you are with them and extremely low, in case they ignore you or reject you. This kind of feeling is similar to what a drug addict feels when he is going through withdrawal.

10. You just cannot accept the ‘breakup.’

In case your "relationship" ends, you constantly pine for them and look for ways to get them back in your life. You feel an overwhelming and painful bond with them and look for ways to get their approval, attention, and affection.

Being in a fantasy relationship will bring you nothing more than pain and disappointment. If you are really lucky and the person you are attracted to ends up reciprocating your feelings, then amazing!

But in case that does not happen, you need to try and move on from this. Living in a world of fantasy will not help you find the love you deserve to have in your life. Be patient, because your Prince Charming is just around the corner waiting for you.

RELATED: The Reason You're So Obsessed With Him Isn't Love, It's Limerence

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Alexandra Hall is a writer who focuses on relationships, love, and dating. For more of her relationship content, visit her author profile on The Mind's Journal.

This article was originally published at The Mind's Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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