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The sorting hat has spoken!
By Ruby Miranda — Written on Oct 09, 2019
Four Hogwarts houses and 12 zodiac signs. This should be quite easy... or should it? The world of Harry Potter is vast, diverse, and possible. There's very little to hold one back when magic is what opens the doors.
But magic? Is this something we can relate to in real life? Of course it is! We may not live the Potter life, but we are certainly fond of the idea of magical work in every day life.
If we had magical schools — houses where we could practice our special brand of magic — we'd be separated and put into specialized places where our skills could grow. And what would determine which house we'd end up in would be something about our personality and interests. You don't just love amphibians and end up a Gryffindor, in other words.
Our zodiac signs determined by astrology fall right in line with this kind of thinking. If the Harry Potter universe existed in real life, which house would you be practicing your magic in?
House of Gryffindor
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
What makes for a true Gryffindor is their sense of righteousness and bravery. Just like you, Aries! Those who dwell and learn in this house are all about pride, intelligence and a bit of showing off.
You may like to have a bit of fun and pull the occasional prank, but you are the go-to member when the gang wants something done. You are action and you make us proud!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Sometimes your head does get too big, and your arrogance can be a real turn off; however, this works well for the Gryffindor House, as members are expected to be snobs, elitists and know-it-alls.
Good thing for that, because you are the Primo Know-It-All. And not only that, you make knowing it all look exquisite!
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You are passionate and enthusiastic, and when it's Gryffindor that you're representing, it's all eyes on you. You're the House athlete, the competitor, the one who comes in at the last minute and finishes off what needs to be finished off.
You dig the whole "show off, pomp and circumstance" thing, and if there's an award to get, you make sure it's yours. On behalf of Gryffindor, of course.
House of Slytherin
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Being a member of the House of Slytherin is perfect for you because you are one sneaky little bastard, and you like it that way.
It's a good fit for you, and you like to work those negative traits of yours to your benefit, which is what the Slytherin do: they work the room for what they can get, and when it's time to bring out the big magic guns, no problem there.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You really despise those Gryffindors and you let them know every time you communicate. Oh sure, you like to come across as the calm, knowledgeable one, but when push comes to shove, you're right there, starting arguments, picking fights, making awful suggestions and being generally snotty to others.
You're the epitome of Slytherin, Virgo.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
When your mascot is a serpent, and your sign is a scorpion, I guess you can do the math. Scorpio can be nothing but Slytherin.
You're the passionate Slytherin, the one who takes it all too far and demands way too much. You're also the trouble-making Slytherin, the one who enjoys scaring the townspeople and ruining lives. Basically, it's just another day for you.
House of Hufflepuff
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
When you can't make up your mind, when you're way to afraid to speak, and when your inability to make sense to others is at full form, then you know who you are: a Gemini in the House of Hufflepuff.
It's almost as if Hufflepuff is made for you: a place where you can literally do nothing, never commit to a decision, and never make friends. It's you, Gemini!
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Hufflepuff is your house, Libra, because you are just bland enough to fit in. The Hufflepuff are a kindly and somewhat silly house, and you fit in perfectly.
You're the one who stays in his room all day, forgetting lessons, and rarely showing up on time. Integrity is not part of your magic, so you are often left out of activities, mainly because everyone in your house has forgotten you're still there.
Pisces (February 19 - March 10)
You will find yourself right at home at Hufflepuff, and nowhere else. There is no place for you that isn't Hufflepuff, Pisces, and you're just fine with that.
You like your small, ineffective bunch of mates. You don't care about things like excellence or craft. Mediocrity is what you produce, magically, and if you could get away with it, you'd spend your entire education at Hogwarts, in bed.
House of Ravenclaw
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You look good, and you want to be noticed. You rep this house well and you are just fine with the judgements that come your way. Yeah, you may come across as an airhead among your colleagues, but they've all come to respect that you do things differently.
You think you can seduce your way around the campus, and guess what? You can.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You rely upon your own self and that makes you a perfect fit for the house of Ravenclaw. Cool and confident, you laugh at competition, but you also back down from it.
You're not the one elected to take on the big baddies, but you are the one everyone stands with when it comes to being the sexiest nerd at Hogwarts.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You've come to rely a little too much upon your own sweet looks, and that's gotten you into some trouble. No bother — you simply don't listen to what others say, especially if it contradicts what you want.
You expect others to serve you, and when they don't, you pout and bemoan your fate. But then you look in the mirror, and all is well in your little world.
Ruby Miranda is a New Yorker who learned astrology, I Ching and all types of cartomancy and numerology from her crazy, gypsy mother. She currently writes for a wide range of esoteric publications.