What Does The Bible Say About Intimacy & Christians Kissing Before Marriage

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Can Dating Christians Kiss Before Marriage, According To The Bible
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Sex

Dating means all types of things. You found someone to go out to dinner with and talk to about things that you have on your mind.

You can take long walks, and make plans. Of course, all the closeness you feel when dating someone romantically, makes you want to express yourself physically, too.

Do you remember your first kiss? What was it like? Is it a pleasant memory or a sour one?

You don’t actually have to tell me, but it should still be one of those moments that you remember for a long time.

Kissing is a type of intimacy. You taste the other person. You feel their body in a way that others more than likely never will.

As a dating Christian, it's not something you take lightly. 

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With kissing, you gain knowledge about that individual from a perspective that should be cherished.

It's really a compelling question to ask whether or not dating means that you should have permission to connect on this type of personal level.

If you're a Christian, that question is something you have prayed about.

Maybe you aren't sure what God would say, or how the Bible considered this form of physical touch that isn't really wrong. But is it right?

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Kissing is a form of intimacy. Kissing is a marker of maturity. You now understand what it means to begin to be truly intimate with someone on a physical level.

On top of that, there’s always a societal expectation for your relationship and at what point you should be at.

Typically it tends to be that people think you should’ve kissed within the first couple of months of you two dating.

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When combining your own curiosity with these expectations with being a Christian, it can make a relationship somewhat challenging.

While having sex before marriage is an obvious no-no as a Christian, there are other aspects of intimacy that fall into a much grayer area.

Personally I’ve never thought something like hand-holding or petting are acts that could be considered sinful.

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But when it comes to kissing, that’s a topic that can be left up to a lot of interpretation.

Here are some World English Bible verses that talk about touch and how to interpret the scripture references.

Although not exactly kissing directly, that could be helpful when making a decision that works for you when dating as a Christian.

1. Check your motive.

First, whether or not you should kiss has to do with what’s in your heart.

Mark 7:21-23: 21 For from within, out of the hearts of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, sexual sins, murders, thefts, 22 covetings, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within and defile the man.”

Matthew 5:28: “...but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

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2. Kiss for love.

If you planning on kissing more for the enjoyment and pleasure than it being a pure act with love, then it can probably be considered a sin.

And of course, that goes beyond a simple peck too. If it’s a long kiss, French kissing and especially if it goes further, if it starts with lust, all of it is sinful.

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3. Aim for intimacy.

However, let’s say that your relationship is one pure of heart and you two simply desire to be closer with each other. You still don’t have a pass to do a whole lot with your lips, but a kiss is more easily justified that way.

Honestly, it all comes down to personal interpretation. There’s no verse in the bible that says “thou shalt not kiss before marriage,” but it’s not like you’ve got the green light either.

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4. Ultimately, it depends.

Really, the answer to whether or not you should vary depending on who you ask too. An older generation would probably say it’s a sin because the values of the time were different than now.

In comparison, someone younger and of the current generation might see no problem with it. Offering my personal opinion, I see no issue with a simple kiss.

Ultimately, it’s up to you, your boyfriend/girlfriend and God on just how much is acceptable. Just make sure if you do decide to lock lips, you don’t have lust in your heart because then it’s definitely a sin.

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Jesse Oakley is a writer who writes about love, relationships, self-care and spirituality/astrology.