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Will the temptation be too much to handle?
By Madison Kerth — Written on Sep 29, 2019
Christian relationships can be a tricky thing.
You want to honor your commitments to God and follow His word, but you also want to show your partner that you really love them.
For some, this decision comes easy. Each relationship is different so there is no rule book when it comes to these kinds of decisions.
We can look to the Bible for guidance, but no matter what, the temptations of sin are all around you.
Maybe things are starting to heat up in the relationship. You have gone from casual dates and fun, flirty conversation to meeting each other’s family and thinking seriously about the long-term future. You feel conflicted.
Lots of people, Christian and non-Christian move in with their boyfriend or girlfriend before saying, "I do."
But do you stay loyal to the Bible or test out the waters with a potential husband?
And also, is testing the waters by living with someone before marriage synonymous with being disloyal to God? Just like relationships between non-believers, love is complicated.
Many people have conflicting opinions about cohabitation you are romantic with someone who isn’t your spouse.
The Bible doesn’t explicitly talk about this issue. So, we have to use our own judgment and free will to decide for ourselves.
So, how do we find the answer within ourselves?
Praying, of course. Establish your connection with God and then take it even deeper.
Ask God directly for guidance in your decision. Be honest with Him and with yourself about your wants and needs in this decision.
Are you confident that you can stay true to God’s plans for you if you move in with your boyfriend?
Or are you looking for an excuse to blame your actions on later?
Look to people you respect for honest guidance. Talk to your parents, your friends, and your church community.
And most importantly, talk to your partner. You need to be on the same page if the relationship is going to survive, regardless of the living arrangements.
ActiveChristianity, a site run by Brunstad Christian Church, references Hebrews 13:4 as the deciding factor.
The verse says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.”
The site says that moving in with your partner before marriage is a direct act of sexual immorality. They say, “There is nothing unclean about sexual relations within marriage, but there is judgment for those engaged in fornication outside marriage.”
But not everyone reads this verse in the same way. Sure, sexual immorality is a sin, but is cohabitation immoral at its core? If you welcome temptation in your life, are you sinning?
Another Christian site, Beliefnet, sees the other side of the cohabitation coin. “Living together before marriage is becoming increasingly common, even among Christian couples and for a number of reasons,” they write.
“Before making a lifelong commitment, many couples want a ‘trial period’ to feel out how they both live, and know if taking the relationship to the next level makes sense.”
This argument is cautious of the fact that temptations are sure to rise amongst the couple, but if the intentions are pure between both parties, it is possible.
“The Bible makes no clear claim that living together before or outside of marriage is living in sin,” they remind.
God gave us free will for a reason. It’s what makes us human. Think about Adam and Eve. God tested them with temptation, but it was they who made the final decision to give in. Ultimately, the decision is up to you.
Do what feels right and what will be best for you in the long run of both your walk with Christ and your relationship!
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Madison Kerth is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, and relationship topics.