100 Best Cat Puns & Funny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Hiss-terically
Love your feline friends? Of course you do, so why not add a little punny love to your life?
ECOSY / Shutterstock I’ll admit it: I’m a certified crazy cat lady. I’ve owned cats my entire life and, to a point, I feel closer to them than I do regular people. Cats aren’t like most other animals out there, and anyone who’s owned them can tell you that.
They pack more personality into their fuzzy little bodies than most people you’ll meet. They’re cute and yet, at the same time, hold an air of mystery that most other animals simply don’t have.
In history, they’ve been painted as mystical and magical. During modern times, they are considered to be epic social media fodder. And however you describe cats, whether they are yours or someone else's, there's no doubt that the world is full of hilarious cat jokes.
For me, being a cat person is not just about loving how cute they look on Instagram. As a practicing pagan, I hold cats in very high regard — not only as pets, but as a religious symbol. Cats have, and always will, have a special place in my heart. It’s just that simple.
I know that I’m not alone in my adoration of feline friends. Cats are the most popular pet in the world. Most “cat people” don’t just like cats — they love them. Heck, the fact that there’s so much cat-themed merchandise, cat quotes, and even catgirl anime floating around the net is proof alone.
Being a cat person has been statistically linked to a number of traits, too. They’re known for being more introverted, more caring, and more likely to enjoy sitting at home while reading a book.
That bookishness means that many cat people will enjoy reading some cat puns. Because the best puns are those about our feline friends. You just can't argue with that. My fellow feline lovers, this list of cat puns and cat jokes is for all you cool cats. Can I get a round of ap-paws, please?
Best Cat Puns
1. Feed me. Feed me, right meow.
2. Ask any ancient Egyptian: stacking up a couple of cats will allow you to make a purr-amid. If you stack up more than just a couple of cats, you end up with a meown-tain.
3. Live long and paws-per.
4. If my cat would drive, he’d insist on getting a Furrari.
5. The other day, I saw a cat that was able to convince me to hand over my lunch scraps to him. He was very purr-suasive.
6. My cat recently knocked over a cup of water onto my laptop. It was a total cat-astrophe.
7. You've got to be kitten me.
8. The other day, I saw a cat sitting in a library. I’m guessing he was litter-ate.
9. If nothing else, observing our feline friends reminds us to take paws and enjoy life.
10. You know, I totally hate it when people call meowt on being catty to people.
11. Sleeping next to your pet is super-soothing. Heck, it’s the cat’s pajamas.
12. Now wait a meowment...
13. Cats are huge fans of gardening. Whenever they see something they don’t like growing in a planter, they’ll nip it in the bud.
14. I’ve decided to go harder than ever before. My online presence will be stellar. I’m Pusheen it to the limit!
15. Hey babe, I’m a total Catsa-nova. No one can whisker away like I can.
16. Check meowt, baby! I’m a total sex kitten.
17. Judging by what I hear during the morning mews, I’m pretty sure my cat is trying to be a TV paw-sonality.
18. Those tiny claws in your leg are just a cat’s way of saying that all you knead is love.
19. I took my cat’s favorite toy away. He didn’t find it a-mewsing.
20. My cat became a drug dealer... until he was arrested for pawsession of meowijuana.
21. You know, if cats could be lawyers, you’d never have to worry about missing a claws on your contracts. Your furry attorney would always advo-cat on your behalf.
22. I told you I wasn’t lion about that dude. He’s a total cheetah, and he moves fast.
23. No matter how much money you make or what you look like, cats will always see you as purrfect — just the way you are.
24. A cat's favorite day of the week is Caturday.
25. My cat is fur-tunate to have me.
26. Paw-don me, but are you fur real?
27. Looking good, feline good.
28. You’re the cat’s pawjamas.
29. Live long and pawsper.
30. Meow you doin’?
31. I’ve got felines for you.
32. Best furiends furever.
33. I’m a total cat purrson.
34. With the right catitude, anything is pawsible.
35. You’re purrfect just the way you are.
36. So fur, so good.
37. I can tell you have a secret — it’s kitten all over your face!
38. It was meant to be — it was kitten in the stars.
39. As good as mew.
40. All kitten aside, cat puns are the best puns.
41. Try to stay paw-sitive.
42. Now, that was quite the faux-paw.
43. Don’t fur-get to buy more cat food!
44. You look fur-miliar.
45. I’m so fur-tunate to have such a great cat!
46. The cat got confused. She was purr-plexed.
47. You’ll go down in hiss-story.
48. You’re purr-fect the way you are.
49. Stop fighting! Hiss and make up.
50. When you're feline sad, just hug your favorite furry paw-son.
Best Funny Cat Jokes
51. My cat just joined a DJ forum.
I can’t wait to see his first scratching post.
52. My tomcat saw a photo of a lady cat online.
I could tell he thought she was a total Sphynx.
53. What do you call a Spanish cat that painted itself green?
An avo-gato.
54. Did you hear about the cat that swallowed too much yarn?
Yeah, she had mittens.
55. Cats are so diva-like, aren’t they?
They way they strut, you’d think the world is their catwalk.
56. Did you know cats are avid fans of 'James Bond'?
It’s true. They love to watch "Octopussy."
57. I strongly recommend never giving your cats lemons or limes.
It’ll turn your furry friend into a sourpuss.
58. Did you ever watch 'Tom and Jerry' growing up?
It never really struck me until now, but Tom was a total purr-vert who was always chasing tail.
59. My cat recently decided to become a rug critic.
It seems he’s a fan of Persian styles.
60. My friend decided to cosplay as a member of the Pussycat Dolls for a party.
All she really needed to do was grab some lingerie and kitten heels to make it complete.
61. You know how many times I’ve seen that pop tart cat video?
Well over nyan thousand times.
62. What’s a cat’s favorite cereal?
Mice krispies.
63. Why did the cats ask for a piano?
They wanted to make mewsic.
64. What is every cat’s favorite book?
"The Great Catsby."
65. What do you call a cat teacher?
A purrfessor.
66. What’s a cat’s favorite TV show?
"Claw and Order."
67. What color do cats love the most?
Purrple
68. What word do millennial cats overuse?
Litter-ally.
69. What do cats like to draw?
Self pawtraits.
70. Why did the cat get fined?
He was caught littering.
71. What’s the best medicine for cat allergies?
An anti-hisstamine.
72. Why don’t cats like online shopping?
They prefer cat-alogues.
73. How did the lazy kittens do on their school project?
The bare mewnimum.
74. What is every kitten’s favorite movie?
"The Little Purrmaid."
75. What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I’m paw!
76. Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
77. What did the alien say to the cat?
“Take me to your litter.”
78. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
79. What sports do cats play?
Hairball.
80. What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order?
Claw Enforcement.
81. Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
She let the cat out of the bag.
82. What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
“Let us prey.”
83. Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk.
84. Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas?
She was a sher-paw.
85. Who was the most powerful cat in China?
Chairman Miaow.
86. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Cat! Cat who?
“Cat me outside, how bout dat?!”
87. What is smarter than a talking cat?
A spelling bee.
88. What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool?
The “whisker.”
89. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.
90. Why was the cat so agitated?
He was in a bad mewd.
91. Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse.
92. What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote?
Paws.
93. Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
94. What do you get if you cross a cat with a snowman?
Frostbite.
95. Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
96. Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
The retail store.
97. Why do cats make terrible storytellers?
They only have one tail.
98. What did the cat say when it got scratched?
Meowch!
99. What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed?
A Himalayan.
100. I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare.
Thanks to the cat it’s so chewed up I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.