Photo: christian buehner on Unsplash
Pay attention, gentleman.
By Loveology University — Written on Mar 31, 2020
Don’t take this personally, but all women have sexual fantasies about other men. Yes, even your wife or your girlfriend.
The object of her desire isn’t necessarily a specific person, but rather a type of guy that represents other aspects of the male personality. He might be the polar opposite of your adorable self.
Well relax; you have nothing to worry about. It’s not a reflection on you.
In fact, fulfilling her fantasies within your own bedroom is a great way to inject some sizzle into your sex and romantic life, and it can even ward off infidelity.
“It’s better to act out her fantasies together than to have her seek it out with that type of guy,” says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., and author of "Make Up, Don’t Break Up."
Here are the 7 types of guys women are most likely to have sexual fantasies about, with tips on how guys can make them each into her reality on your own!
1. The Rock Star
Aside from that sexy, disheveled look of his, the bad boy type epitomizes unpredictability.
How to fulfill her fantasy: Step out of your normal sex life and throw in a few surprises. Try having sex in public or in the bathroom at a house party, flipping her over your shoulder when she comes home for work and bending her over the kitchen table, or sending her the dirtiest text you can come up with.
“A little naughtiness can be fun on occasion. The bad boy would be spontaneous with a perceived (not real) feeling of danger,” says sex, marriage and family therapist Amie Harwick, author of “The New Sex Bible for Women.”
2. The Construction Worker
“This type of guy is attractive because he represents someone who can take control and build and fix things. It’s very masculine. A lot of men call others to do this work,” says marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers, Psy.D., and author of “Chatting or Cheating.”
How to fulfill her fantasy: When something needs fixing around the house, don’t call a handyman. Get your hammer and toolbox out and fix that unhinged cabinet, paint that door, and drill those loose screws.
While women do like to watch their men work up a sweat, they also like it when you finish that ‘Honey Do’ List before they come home from grocery shopping. She’ll not only be thrilled the work was done, but it’ll make her oh-so appreciative. Chore-play can be great foreplay.
3. Men in Uniform
“Uniforms represent authority and power, brains and brawn. For many women this translates into a lover that will be more take-charge and dominating,” says sex educator Kait Scalisi, MPH.
How to fulfill her fantasy: A man in uniform also represents someone who is of service to another, so service her in bed.
Unlike with some of these fantasies, this is literally about a “man in uniform” so surprising her by sporting a vintage military, police, or fireman hat from an Army/Navy store (instead of a cheesy costume shop) when she comes home from work might be the role-playing she really wants to fulfill this fantasy.
4. The Foreigner with an Accent
“Novelty and variety are the two key factors in keeping the attraction strong,” says Harwick. “A foreign guy fills both of those needs.”
How to fulfill her fantasy: To recreate this with your wife or girlfriend, Harwick suggests doing your homework. “Make dinner based on another culture, and learn some phrases in another language, and then seduce her by trying something different.”
The key here is ... make dinner! Men don’t do it often enough, so when you do, it creates a rush of excitement, gratitude, and a feeling of being cared for. You don’t have to master fine French cuisine, as the effort is what really scores you points here, but setting a romantic mood with candles, wine, flowers, and her favorite music is quite the aphrodisiac.
5. The Doctor
“You don’t need to take the doctor fantasy literally — think about the qualities he possesses,” says sex educator Tristan Taormino. “Good doctors are great listeners, have compassion, and examine you thoroughly.”
How to fulfill her fantasy: Start by asking her about her. "How was your day?" "How was yoga?" "What can I do to help?" Be concerned about how she feels, especially her physical aches and pains.
If she has a backache, give her a massage. If she has a headache, rub her temples. Make sure the caring you show is focused on her well being, and not with a sexual hidden agenda in mind.
6. The Professor/Intellectual
A well-read man is every girl’s fantasy, and if you can actually quote your favorite passage from a classic novel or romantic lines from a sonnet, all the better. Bonus points if you actually wear those reading glasses you already own.
How to fulfill her fantasy: Surprise her by foregoing a night in front of the tube for a reading night.
Reading the same book together can not only give your relationship another level of intimacy, but it can also give you something new to talk about. If the book has controversial themes, having a feisty, intellectual debate can add some mental — and sexual — excitement.
7. The Outdoorsman
“These guys offer both adventure and security,” says Scalisi.
How to fulfill her fantasy: Rugged sexuality, sweat, muscles glistening in the sun, and even a little body odor can get a woman’s pheromones flying. In fact, as published in the Journal of Neuroscience, researchers at the University of California at Berkeley found that women participating in their study became sexually aroused after smelling male sweat.
Hit the mountains to hike, rock climb, bike, kayak, and/or work up a sweat collecting logs for a fire.
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With her provocative writing style and penchant for in-depth research, Carrie Borzillo has earned renown and respect over her 20 years as a music and entertainment journalist. She has also written about sex advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue Magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose Magazine, and has appeared as a sexpert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew, Playboy Radio, and others.
This article was originally published at Sexpert.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.