Are you getting your needs met?
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Dec 21, 2021
As hard as it can be to understand what you want from life, love and relationships, it is sometimes even more difficult to know what you actually need. And that's where taking a personality test can make all the difference in your day to day satisfaction.
As humans beings we are born with certain needs. There is all that pesky physical stuff, like our need to eat, drink water and sleep in order to survive. However, we have other needs that might not seem as obvious but are just as vital to our sustained happiness and well-being.
The desire for love in the form of a long-lasting and meaningful romantic relationship is one shared by the majority of human beings, as it accentuates the experience of being human, allowing us to grow, learn and thrive while sharing the best of ourselves with another.
Love is more than just a happy feeling in your belly. When you are in love, it is physically and psychologically healthy for you.
The feeling of love generates positive brain chemicals that literally change your mood, making you feel happier.
Being unhappy is no fun, so obviously falling in love is a nice remedy. Some might argue that we fall in love as a side effect of our body's natural urge to procreate, and while I'm sure there's some truth to that, the fact of the matter is that people want and need different things out of love, so when you're struggling to identify what it is that you specifically need most in relationships, things can feel more difficult than usual all around.
It can be tough to figure out what you're really looking for when you're trying to figure it out all on your own.
Even when you're in a relationship, you don't exactly want to look over at your partner and be like, "Hey, so... What do I even need from this thing we're doing?" (because that would be a little bit insane and a lot rude).
The good news is that visual personality tests like the one below are designed to take the guesswork out of answering these kinds of difficult life questions.
All you need to do is look at the picture below and make a note of the image you can clearly see first.
Find out what this optical illusion personality test reveals about what you need most in love and romantic relationships.
1. If you saw the man's face
If you saw the man's face in the image above, you are a person who works hard to be well-respected and appreciated by everyone you meet.
This is usually pretty easy for you, because you're good at reading people and you know which version of yourself to present if you want to ingratiate yourself with someone. It's a useful skill, and you are by no means disingenuous, but it's also can make for a life where it feels like you are a puzzle that no one is equipped to solve.
What you really need from love is to be understood.
You are a complicated person, and what's more, because you spend so much of your life presenting only one facet of your personality at a time, it can feel like no one ever stands a chance of getting to know the whole you.
Rest assured that they will, you just need to give them time. Focus on building a relationship with someone and then allow every single part of yourself to shine for them to see, appreciate, and adore.
2. If you saw the man in the coat
If you saw the man in the coat in the image above, you are a person with an inner sadness.
I'm not saying you're clinically depressed (although you might be) or a generally mopey person (although you might be that too), but you are keenly aware of the balance between all things — life and death, happiness and sadness, beginnings and endings. It's a tough way to view the world at-large, but it definitely makes you appreciate even the smallest things.
What you really need from love is total acceptance.
You have dated in the past and never found anyone who accepted you for who you are, as you are. Most of your partners have wanted to change or "fix" you, not understanding that your melancholia is part of your basic nature. Look for someone who can accept your sadder side and you will find someone worth spending your life with. Hard to get sad about that!
3. If you saw the baby
If you saw the baby in the image above you, are a person who often feels helpless.
Sure, you're an adult. You know how to take care of yourself and how to pay your bills, but most of the time it feels like you are just spinning plates waiting for everything to come crashing down.
You're easily stressed out, feel like you're perpetually running on not enough sleep, and you've been known to indulge in more than one crying jag a week — and that's when you're not PMS-ing.
What you really need from love is to be nurtured.
Let's get one thing very clear: you don't want to be "babied." You aren't a child, and you haven't been one for a long time. You are a person who deeply desires someone who can help shoulder the burdens of daily life, someone whose shoulder is always there for you, someone who gives you a mug of tea and listens to your woes and tucks you into bed at night. Sure, passion is great, but you need a rock.
4. If you saw the sorcerer
If you saw the sorcerer in the image above, you are a person who is just as curious and passionate about the next life as you are about the one you currently live.
Maybe there is one religion that you practice, maybe there are several, or maybe there are none at all because you're too curious to commit to any in particular. Whatever the case may be, you are motivated by an awareness and belief that this life on earth isn't our only life. Heck, it probably wasn't even our first!
What you really need from love is a spiritual connection.
It's critical to you that your romantic life be a place where you feel spiritually fulfilled. This doesn't necessarily mean that you and your partner share beliefs, but you are most drawn to people who ask the same kind of questions you ask of the world and the universe.
You want a person who doesn't shrug off your nature as "weird hippy stuff," because you know when you really love someone it was written in the stars — and they ought to know that too!
5. If you saw the two attendants
If you saw the two attendants in the image above, you are a person who is stubborn, focused, and in total control.
Sound exhausting? That's probably because it is. Your whole life would be so much easier if there were two of you, because at least then there would be one other person in the room who knows how things are supposed to go.
You think you're always right, and the problem for everyone around you is that... you usually are. If there is a room where you aren't the smartest person, you haven't walked into it yet.
What you really need from love is to be challenged.
You want a partner who is there for you, one who is good and supportive, sure, but who challenges you and isn't afraid to call you out when they think you may be wrong. What's more, you want a partner who has something to teach you.
Yes, love should be a soft place to fall, but it should also create a dynamic that pushes you to be the best version of yourself possible.
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cats, Batman and Margot. She's an experienced generalist with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, pop culture, and true crime.