7 Reasons You Keep Dreaming About Your First Love

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first love
Heartbreak, Love

Don't go running back to him just yet.

It is said that a person's first love is their strongest. While they may break up and find some other life partner in the future, no one ever forgets the first person who stole their heart.

It shouldn't be surprising, then, that a person's first ex can frequently appear in their dreams. And yet, every time it happens, it's jolting. "Why am I thinking of this person?" we ask ourselves. "Does this mean I don't love my current partner?"


RELATED: 7 Ways Your First Love Alters Your Brain — Permanently


Before you go jumping to conclusions or making any rash decisions, here are some interpretations of why people dream about their first love. 

1. You want him to acknowledge your worth.

First loves are intense, and if yours happened when you were in your teen years, it was probably even more intense. If your first breakup was a devastating one that ended on poor terms, dreaming about your ex might be an unconscious attempt at wish fulfillment.

If you feel as if your first love stopped acknowledging your worth at one point, then you might still have the desire in the back of your mind for them to see how far you've come and how much you've accomplished. Your subconscious wants to prove yourself to this person and make them realize they made a mistake by dumping you. Pride can be quite the devil. 

2. You're projecting your past love onto your current love.

If your first love did something incredibly hurtful, such as cheating, then you are probably wary or even scared that other men will do the same thing to you. Your current partner may be the type who would never cheat on you, but because your ex did, you're subconsciously expecting it to happen again.

If you have a dream about your ex hurting you the way he did the first time, or about your current partner hurting you the exact same way your first love did, then you're projecting your past experience onto your present one.

3. You just can't forget them.

Dreaming passionately or longingly about your first love may startle you, but if you think about it, it's not that crazy. Your first love will always be a part of you, which means that there is always the chance that it will seep into your dreams.

People dream about all sorts of things that have happened in their lives, reliving or even rewriting those memories. If you have a dream that you're making love with your first boyfriend, that doesn't necessarily mean that you want him back or that you don't love your current partner.

The feelings you had for your first love were strong, and that kind of love doesn't disappear forever, no matter how long it's been or how "over it" you are. 

4. You still have unresolved issues.

Your first love (and your first breakup) probably left you with all kinds of wounds — wounds that may still be open. Your first boyfriend may have delivered a serious blow to your self-esteem, and that kind of a hit can hurt for a long time. 


RELATED: There's Always That One Person You'll Forever Have A Soft Spot For


According to Scientific American, humans try to work out their subconscious or complex emotions in their dreams. If you're still struggling with loving yourself or developing a sense of self-confidence, then it's not unusual that the source of that problem (aka your ex) would appear in your dreams. 

5. You're having problems in your current relationship.

If you're currently having relationship problems, your unconscious mind may resort to dreaming about a time and place when you felt extremely happy or loved. When a person is made to endure something painful or trying, it is a natural coping mechanism to revisit a positive memory and even over-idealize it.

In this case, dreaming about your first love may just be your unconscious mind's way of handling your current problems. However, if your relationship has been on the rocks for a while, a dream about your first love may be trying to show you what desirable qualities your new man is lacking.  

6. You're still looking for closure.

When a passionate relationship comes to a close and you lose someone important to you, it's hard to bounce back. Someone you used to spend all of your time with is gone and suddenly there is a void in your life where that person used to be. That empty feeling is what prompts people to want closure.

If matters between you and your first love ended abruptly or badly, you may feel like the only way you'll get over it is if you can somehow tie it up in a neat little bow. But life doesn't work out like that. You have to realize that other people won't give you closure. The only kind you'll get is the kind you can give yourself.

So if you're having persistent dreams about your first love years after you broke up, you may want to consider taking a closer look at those old emotions. 

7. You're afraid your current relationship won't last.

People learn from past experiences. If you're feeling like your present relationship is going off the rails, it would make sense that your unconscious mind would start comparing it to your first relationship. How did that relationship end? What mistakes did you make? What mistakes did he make?

Your mind tries to draw parallels to help you sort through your current predicament. Identify the main source of emotion in your dream and ruminate on it for a little while. Who knows, maybe you'll learn something from your dreams after all. 


RELATED: Why Your Second Love Will ALWAYS Be More Powerful Than Your First


Taylor Markarian graduated from Emerson College with a B.A. in Writing, Literature & Publishing. She is a freelance writer and editor who enjoys writing about about music, lifestyle, culture, the arts, entertainment, and literature. Check out her LinkedIn and her website.

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