Love, Self

If You're Not His Priority, Then It's Time To Leave (And Don't Ever Look Back)

Photo: Yoann Boyer via Unsplash
Relationship Advice For Women On Why It's Important To Know Your Worth And Never Settle For Being Someone's Option

By Marisa Donnelly

You’ve fallen for a man who says he loves you, but acts busy or disinterested half the time you call. 

You want to invest more of yourself, want to pour into the relationship, but whenever you give a little more, it feels like he’s pulling away.

You put him first, but he barely invests in you.

You shouldn’t make him your priority when he treats you like an option, but sometimes you get so caught up in trying to win his affection that you forget to honor your worth.

RELATED: I Am Not A Second Option. Either Choose Me Or Lose Me.

But, in case you’ve forgotten - you are beautiful and valuable - and anyone who doesn’t treat you like that isn’t worthy of being in your life.

If you’ve found yourself entangled in a half-committed relationship with a man who doesn’t bother to make you a priority, here are four things you need to keep in mind.

1. That’s not real love

Real love is honor and respect. Real love is dedicating yourself to one person and making that person feel valuable. 

It’s not being with someone who stretches himself between other people all vying for his attention, picking and choosing which one he likes the ‘most.’ 

It’s not about calculated moves and lists of ‘options.’

You shouldn’t be with someone who treats you like an option rather than the incredible, valuable person you are - that’s not being loved, that’s manipulation.

RELATED: 17 Signs You're An Option, Not A Priority

2. You shouldn’t have to fight for affection

Love isn’t having to fight to be seen, to be heard, or to be cared about.

It’s not trying to win someone’s affection as he flips back and forth on whether or not he wants to be with you.

You shouldn’t (ever!) have to fight for someone to love you.

Yes, relationships are hard sometimes, but basic care and concern is never something you should have to go to battle for.

It should simply be given.

3. You’ll find someone else who truly values you

Real love isn’t wishing your person could care more about you and then spending all your time trying to show them that you’re worthy. 

With the right person, he will already know your worth - you won’t have to do or say a thing.

With the right person, you’ll understand why it didn’t work out with anyone else.

You’ll feel confident and secure and you’ll realize that real love is supportive and encouraging, rather than conflicted and rooted in insecurity.

RELATED: If These 10 Things Describe Your Relationship, You're Only An Option For Him (Not A Priority)

4. Life is too short to settle for half-love

Bottom line - life is too short to settle for any kind of love that isn’t earth-shattering, ground-breaking, beautiful, and messy. 

No, you won’t find perfection (but that’s not what you’re looking for).

And no, you won’t have an ‘ideal’ relationship all the time.

But, when you’re in a real relationship rather than something surface and non-committal, you’ll finally understand how foolish you were to settle before.

Remember this - you shouldn’t make him your priority when he treats you like an option.

You are worth infinitely more.

RELATED: If He Treats You Like An Option, Remove Yourself From The Equation

Marisa Donnelly is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love. For more of her relationship content, visit her Twitter page.

This article was originally published at The Mind's Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.