The Simple Texting Rule That Can Turn Your Crush Into Your Boyfriend
This could save your potential relationship.
getty In today’s dating world, it is a cold hard truth that it only takes one screw up to blow an entire potential relationship. One clingy voicemail, one too many Snapchats, one social media post, one annoying drunk text — that's all you get. Just one.
Subsequently, one great message will not put a potential relationship on the fast track to the real deal. And when it comes to how to tell if a guy likes you, you might be hurting your chances.
As young daters we seem to forget this “rule of one” when we are hopeful about a relationship. We take advantage of every single opportunity to tap the tiny blue “send” button for absolutely any reason we can come up with, all in hopes of getting the attention of the person we are crushing on.
Best case scenario, we get a response. If all goes according to plan and we get a response, we get our hopes up that this one conversation will finally get us a date invitation, a second date invitation, or even just the small win that they bothered to respond at all.
But if they don’t respond, our minds will likely take a serious spiral into the dark pits of despair as we further question if they’re even interested anymore.
If the message generates a response, we gloss right over the fact that this whole plan could have gone horribly wrong, and we could have been left response-less. The validation we get from ONE response blinds us to see the bigger picture.
If you’re banking on one message that YOU send for validation, a date invite, or for whatever reason, you should still be considering the question you would ask yourself had the message went unanswered: “Are they even into me anymore?”
If there is any situation where you should pay the most attention to the “rule of one,” it is in this moment, when you are experiencing the panic of questioning if someone likes you.
So, what do we do here? We convince ourselves the one and only way we will solve our relationship insecurities and get “back on track” with our crush is if we reach out with the perfect Snapchat selfie, the wittiest text message, a reminder of an inside joke, or the worst of them all: a thirsty photo or post. We tap send with prayers up, and all the hope in the world our phones will light up with their name attached to the glow.
Even though we were so sure that our plan was fail proof and we would be “back on track” in a blink of an eye, this usually does not work and blows up in our pretty little faces. Why? Because when we count on one message to save a potential relationship, we overthink it and put so much pressure on that one damn message that we no longer become ourselves, and it reeks of desperation.
When we bank on one message to save our chances at a relationship, most of the time the message intended to save us, is the one that buries us. This message becomes the one single, solitary screw up we cannot commit when we are in the early stages of dating.
If you really like someone and you are questioning their level of interest, do NOT test the waters by reaching out, reaching out again and again, or reaching out at all. If they haven’t seen how cool and awesome you are yet, they won’t with another text message or Snapchat, no matter how perfectly crafted.
When you doubt if someone likes you back, even for a minute, we hate to say it, but they probably don’t. Save yourself the heartbreak of attempted reach-outs falling onto deaf ears and having a phone with no responses on it.
The rejection you feel after putting time and effort into the “perfect” reach-out attempt will hurt more than leaving someone behind who isn’t giving you the attention you deserve early on in a relationship. Remember the “rule of one” — it truly is the most helpful but forgotten dating rule of our time.
Karen & Kristy Ambrose are twins who believe there are few things in life that a glass of red wine can’t fix. They are passionate about writing especially topics that are geared toward their fellow ladies. Follow them on Twitter and Instagram @theambrosegirls, or visit their website.