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It got weird real fast.
By Melody June — Written on Aug 05, 2017
When I was a young girl, watching MTV was a right of passage. That was back when it actually was music television and it truly meant something to be a rock star.
But I never imagined finding myself with a hilariously awkward sex story involving one of the most notorious rock stars nearly two decades later.
It was a late night at the infamous Rainbow Bar & Grill on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles.
If you're part of Generation X and/or know anything about 80s hair metal, then you also know about the Rainbow. It's where Guns N’ Roses filmed the video for “November Rain” and where everybody who was anybody in the 80s music scene played and partied.
From Poison to Motörhead to Mötley Crüe, they were all there at some point.
One of those rock stars apparently never left.
I was sitting at a table with a group of friends. In front of me was a plate of greasy fries I was hoping would soak up the gluttonous amount of drinks I had consumed that night... and that’s when I spotted him.
Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe.
He wasn't just the lead singer of one of the biggest hard rock bands of the 80s who is actually celebrating the 30th anniversary of "Girls, Girls, Girls", he was just as legendary for his hijinks and crazy past.
Among the stories of Vince Neil's alleged misdoings:
- He once got into a fight with a drag queen at a bar because the $20 bag of cocaine he purchased turned out to be baby powder.
- He once teamed up with Ozzy Osbourne to steal a car, before crashing it and ripping apart the interior.
- He hosted “Naughtie Nightie” parties, where he would have female wrestlers come to his home and entertain him and his guests. (Bonus: One of the female wrestlers, he ended up marrying.)
Enter me, a young, naive girl from the tiny town of Wallace, Idaho with a population of fewer than one thousand people.
And now, here I was on the Sunset Strip with this notorious lead singer of Mötley Crüe.
Next to him, sat one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen.
My drunken, idiotic self, had the inebriated idea of feigning fan girl to him. I won’t deny there was some small part of me that found it cool to be sharing space with the guy who once only shared space with my television screen, but he was definitely no Jon Bon Jovi in my eyes. If he had been, this story might have turned out quite differently.
Of course, I’m kidding... Kind of...
No, I’m probably not.
Anyway, I approached his table with ridiculous confidence. I extended my hand and gushed:
“Oh my god! I can’t believe I’m meeting you! I am such a huge fan! You were one of the biggest crushes of my childhood! I just love your voice!”
What came next was very unexpected, but was also very much what I deserved.
He reached for my hand, complimented my “beautiful, sexy” name and then began to caress and kiss my wrist.
When I say he kissed it, I am not referring to a simple, sweet kiss. Instead, imagine a porn star using your wrist to demonstrate their oral abilities. I'm still unsure if this was even a legal public display in any location other than the Rainbow after 2:00 in the morning.
I nervously looked over at the woman he was with, wondering if she was going to claw at me, and claw at me she did, but again, in a very unexpected way.
She grabbed my other hand and began massaging it, looking into my eyes as though I was her prey and she was starving.
What began as a lighthearted, albeit ill-conceived joke in my own head, was now getting really weird, really fast.
My heart began palpitating. I was completely freaking out.
The world famous lead singer introduced me to the woman, who looked like she had just stepped out of one of his music videos, and then suggested I sit down and join them for the evening. Suddenly, I was no longer the cool, funny, drunk girl showing off for her friends. I was completely sobered by the moment.
I barely managed to mutter something to the effect of, “Uhm, I gotta go!”
And then I ran out the doors of the Rainbow, never looking back once before I took shelter on the pavement outside.
There are many incredible things I still carry with me from my days living in Los Angeles.
I'm just happy that none of the things I'm still carrying belong to Vince Neil.
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Melody Alderman is a writer, photographer, and single mom. She has an irrational fear of sharks and once brought home a little leprechaun from Ireland. Her work has been published globally.
This article was originally published at Breakfast at Melody's. Reprinted with permission from the author.