Self, Sex

5 Reasons Summer Sucks For Women With Big Boobs

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big boob problems

The summer is a beautiful time. 

Those lazy days are perfect for grilling up a feast with your friends in the park, spending hours on the beach, or sitting on a porch sipping lemonade and telling stories.

Yes, summer is truly bliss.

Unless, that is, you happen to be a woman with big boobs.

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Yes, I know, my big boobs are a gift. They are veritable beacons drawing members of the opposite sex deep into my thrall. 

But they are also a hassle and a half. 

If you still think that having big boobs is where it's at, then you clearly have never once experienced boob sweat. 

That's just one of the worst things about being big of breast in the summer. But let's be real, boob sweat is a problem all boobs have suffered at one time or another. 

You want more reasons why it's the absolute worst? 

Keep reading! 

1. Uncontrollable boob sweat 

I'm fat, so I don't just have to face boob sweat, I have to face literal vagina sweating.

Seriously, the AC was out on the train this morning, so I realized it was probably a good idea not to sit down if I didn't want to leave an imprint of my sweaty vagina. 

Your boobs (yes, even the small boobs) are made of fat and tissue that sits, and in the case of big boobs, sits heavily. 

If your skin is sitting on top of more skin and it's eight million degrees outside, guess what? You're going to sweat. 

There is nothing less sexy than boob sweat other than the smell of the boob sweat. 

You can try to sop it up, you can put deodorant everywhere, but if it's the summertime and you've got big boobs: prepare for the sweats to begin, son. 

2. Killer bra straps 

They pinch.

They pull. 

They don't stay in place, and none of the cute clothes that are made for summer hide them.

Sure, you're not going to get thrown in jail for exposing your bra straps, but it isn't a streamlined or professional look.

Tiny girls with their small boobs beat the heat in tank tops, but the best we can do is a t-shirt.

It's either that or resolve yourself to pairing every halter dress you own with a cardigan and praying the air conditioning is set to "frigid." 

3. The special hell that is swimsuits

I hate buying swimsuits solely because of my big boobs. 

I don't ever get like, "Ugh, swimsuit season, time to cut back on the calories!" 

Instead, I prepare myself for an array of swimsuits with no support that flattens my breasts like depressed and painful pancakes.

It's either buy one of those are buying a suit designed to showcase my big boobs.

Sounds good, right?

Yeah only typically these suits are designed for stuff like, you know, moving.

Bathing suits of the world: why do you insist on either smushing my boobs or showing them to everyone and their uncle? 

4. Challenging beach lounging 

Sure, laying out in the sun can be a lot of fun! It can even be good for you if you're wearing the right kind of SPF. 

But you know what's not fun? 

Having big boobs and lying out in the sun.

Lie on your back and they slap you in the chin or flee to your armpits; lie on your back and either suffer in silence or discreetly dig a hole in the sand big enough to gird your rack. 

It's the definition of lose-lose. 

RELATED: 8 Things My Boobs Would Say (If They Could Talk)

5. Chafing 

When you have big boobs this means that your boob skin is going naturally rub up against other parts of your body.

Skin rubbing against skin means friction which means chafing.

The sides of your boobs can chafe against the tops of your inner arm, the underneath can chafe against your bra strap.

It can feel like just when you've figured out how to keep your girls comfortable, another weird area of chafing emerges.

Sure, you can always use stuff like Body Glide, but I'll tell you what doesn't feel sexy — rubbing anti-chafe products all over your boobies while trying not to weep. 

Somebody wake me when it's fall again! 

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