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He's not even close to being over you.
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on Jun 22, 2017
There’s something vaguely insulting about when an ex has no trouble getting over you. Or maybe that’s just me. It’s not that I want all my exes to live lonely lives where they spend endless hours thinking about what they did wrong, how amazing I was and how there’ll never be anyone like me ever again in their lives. Okay, I do a little bit.
I don’t get over my exes easily or in some cases, ever. It’s not that I’m obsessed or constantly cyberstalking them but occasionally I do like to know what’s going on in their life. That’s not an obsession, that’s honoring the past.
They were a part of my life. I shared things with them and I was intimate with them so we have a connection, albeit in some cases, an extremely small connection but one just the same.
Most of my exes have fantastic lives, and if I’m honest, they probably wouldn't be quite so happy if we had stayed together. For whatever reason, we just didn't work out. Hopefully, I still have a small amount of affection for them.
I don’t hate any of them or wish them ill. I just want my exes to think of me fondly from time to time. I think that’s reasonable. I’m not asking them to change anything about their current lives or to be filled with regret that we didn't work out, just to think of me in a good light.
We learn from the people we’re involved with. Sometimes these are lessons we could have lived very happily without learning, but most helped to build our character. You may not ever really know why they were in your life and what you got from the relationship, but trust that it was necessary for you to experience it.
Here’s how to tell if he's not over you, based on his zodiac sign.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
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When he's not over you, the Aries man is going to go through a lot of relationships — more so than usual — but none of them will stick. Aries loves the chase and at first, he's going to think that not being with you is what he needed and wanted, but as he works his way through all these new relationships, he'll discover that what he had with you was special. While he may have wondered if there was someone out there who was more perfect for him than you were, he's going to find out post-breakup that there wasn't.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
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He's going to put on a show for everyone to see how absolutely perfect his life is without you. His social media will be curated to present the image of his wonderful life. He'll drag himself out of the house and put on his party face just to let everyone know how fantastic he's doing without you. He's hoping the details of his awesomeness will get back to you and make you jealous. Jealousy, he can understand, is losing the one person who really understood him, and he can't fully comprehend.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
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He says he just wants to be friends but he has a ton of friends and probably doesn't need anymore. He just can't stand the thought of not having you in his life at all. At first, he starts with inviting you to parties, and then it morphs into coffee dates so that you can catch up. It's funny how these friend dates start to feel like date dates.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
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Can you figure out how to tell if he's not over you? You can tell You know he's not over you because of the lame excuses he uses to reach out to you. He really didn't need to share with you that his second-grade teacher passed away or pretend he's just concerned that your dog might be missing him. His texts to you are so filled with strange emojis that you have no idea what he's trying to tell you, or those memes he shares with you on Facebook. You know he's trying to tell you something, it's just confusing as to what it is.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
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He'll tell you that he "recently" found a gift that he was supposed to give you for your birthday. It isn't appropriate for anyone else and he can't take it back, so probably you should meet — for the last time — so that he can give it to you. No, he can't just put it in the mail, it could get lost or stolen. No, he's not trying to win you back. Honestly. He just thinks you'll really like this gift and it would be a shame for it to go to waste.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
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You can tell he's not over you because of the erratic way he's behaving. One minute he's holed up in his house and won't see anybody, and the next, he's out partying with friends. It's as if he's sending mixed signals to himself. You can be sure he's thinking about every detail of your relationship: what went wrong, what he did wrong, and what he should have done better. He hates that he can't fix your broken relationship.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
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He goes a long time without anyone special in his life. To all observers, he seems fine but the truth is he can't picture life without you. Everything seems a little grayer since you've been gone. The last thing he wants is to have some big blow out fight about it or talk to you about what happened. He'd rather just internalize it and hope that the feelings of sadness, disappointment, and failure move on.
Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
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The Scorpio man tends to get a little obsessed when they're not over someone. It's not a coincidence that you ran into him at the grocery store or the gym. He's probably in the best shape and he's dying to tell you the fantastic things that are happening in his life. He wants to make you jealous and will appear indifferent if he sees you with someone else. He's definitely not over you.
Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
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If he's not over you, he's in constant joke mode and is taking nothing seriously. It's annoying the way he's always cracking jokes, wanting to appear as if your breakup didn't affect him at all. He doesn't realize that no one is buying his act and he needs to stop pretending he's okay when clearly, he's not.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
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The Capricorn male wants to appear as if he's completely over you and impervious to any pain that comes with a breakup. He'll bury himself in his work and take on extra projects. He wants to be so exhausted that he won't have time to think about you and your past relationship. He will take some satisfaction in the fact that he knew all along it would never work out with you.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
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Aquarian men are tough — they don't like to show their emotions on a good day, so it's difficult to tell what they're feeling ever. He may throw himself into doing some work for a humanitarian cause or he may take himself on a trip. He'll convince himself that he's fine and that he prefers to be alone anyway but deep down, he misses you.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
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It's easy to know when a Pisces man isn't over you because you'll show up in his art. Look closely — it may not be as obvious as a portrait of you or a song with your name in the title. Did you wear green a lot and suddenly all his paintings have strong shades of green in them, or are you famous for your love of chocolate and his recently published short story takes place in a candy factory? There are clues in his creative work that he's still using you as his inspiration and muse, you just need to look closely.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One