4 Best Gentle Sex Positions For Virgins (And Anyone Who Likes Pain-Free Sex)

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couple gentle kissing in bed before sex

Losing your virginity is supposed to be a special and intimate time, but can be associated with a lot of fear, especially for women. 

Often times there is fear around how much it will hurt and how gentle the sex will (or will not) be. 

But losing your virginity is not a one-size-fits-all experience and the expectations are so high that first-timers are often left disapponted and in pain. 

Yes, your first sexual experience can hurt, and that's why finding the best gentle sex position can make a virgin's first time better and more initimate.

We spoke to Sexpert Michelle Hope to see how to reduce pain during sex for everyone, but especially virgins having sex for the first time and her simple overarching advice was that comfortable sex starts with good lubrication and good communication. 

That means you need to amp up the foreplayfellas — our expert tells us women take longer to warm up.

"When we're talking about the most comfortable sex positions it's not always about the position, although yes, that's very important," says Hope. "It's also about lubrication and making sure you're lubricated enough to allow the vagina to stretch because during arousal a vagina can deepen from 2 to 4 inches, so it was definitively built for things to come in and go out — so it's more about lubrication.

"Also, the best position is communication and rooting your sex experience in communication: what feels good and what doesn't feel good and how do we communicate stop if we need to and set boundaries. Because that's really a part of safe-play is actually knowing that you're safe, which can allow the body to relax and open up the vagina, which can allow for easier penetration." 

Here are the 4 most gentle sex positions for virgins (or anyone experiening discomfort during sex).

1. Girl on Top

You've probably heard this before, but the girl-on-top position in reverse or just plain ol' cowgirl is a top-pick because it gives women more control of how deep your partner's penis is going.

If she isn't ready to take more, then she can go at her own pace and control the pain and discomfort. 

RELATED: How To Master The Reverse Cowgirl Sex Position

2. Man on Top (Missionary Position)

"The benefit of the missionary sex position is the eye to eye contact, which allows you to make a connection with the person you're having sex with, which I think is very important when losing your virginity. Because my hope would be that it's consensual and intimate and you're able to look each other in the eye and you're able to communicate," explains Hope. 

Make sure you're maintaining intimacy through regular missionary sex position to decrease discomfort for both parties.

Besides, communication is something that most of us desire when we're losing our virginity.

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However, Hope also points out that it much like "Girl on Top," this position allows you to guide the penis and take it piece by piece, if necessary.

RELATED: 7 Sex Positions Men Love Most 

3. Planked Doggy Style

If you're looking to dive into doggy style as with anything, baby steps are crucial. "Often times from-behind [insertion] can be way too deep," explains Hope.

She recommends for the woman to lay on her stomach while trying the doggy style position (as opposed to being on fours) with her legs together, since this is a position you can control with your glutes (by squeezing) to control the penis from going in too deep.

RELATED: 10 New Ways To Do The Doggy Style Sex Position — From Bulldog To Basset Hound

4. Side-by-Side (Spooning)

The spooning sex position, either face-to-face or face-to-back, provides the same sense of control that can be gained from lying on your stomach. 

Beware: She does warn that while this gentle sex position is more comfortable, it might be challenging if the man has a small penis.  

"If you're losing your virginity and your partner doesn't have a big penis, some of these positions might not work for you. And not everybody has a teeny-tiny vagina," she says.

It's a gentle reminder from Hope that not every experience with gentle sex or losing your virginity will be the same. 

In conclustion: 

To make the best of your first time it would be: lubrication, foreplay, communication, and then gentle sex positions. Hope says, women take about 10-12 minutes to become aroused, and men are much quicker than that. Setting the tone and the mood is setting you up for success!

RELATED: 13 No-Nonsense Tips For Having Sex With Someone Who's A Virgin