All Of The Embarrassing Sex Questions Men Wanted To Ask Women: ANSWERED By Women

Photo: weheartit
sex questions

Societal norms state that there are some things you just don't say out loud, and while it's admirable that both men and women hold our tongues out of politeness, it sure can add up to a lot of ignorance between the genders. In the name of education and open dialogue, we've fielded some of the most socially unacceptable sex questions men have for women about dating, sex, and the mystique of the female body. 

Please note, while I have answered these 15 questions honestly and thoroughly on behalf of womankind, I provide but one lone opinion in a sea of billions of women on this planet. My responses are indicative of my individual perspective only, and, as always, no one woman defines what is "the norm." Simply put: I can't possibly represent all women here and only a fool would believe that women are all identically built. 

(Be sure to check out part two of these explicitly-answered sex questions guys are afraid to ask girls. Or, for the gender-swapped version, see "All Of The Bizarre Sex Questions You Wanted To Ask Men: ANSWERED By Men.")

Now, onto the sex questions!

1. If you’re on the prowl and a dude you’re into at the bar isn’t into it, do you move to a plan B or call the night a wash?

Okay, first of all, I’ve never in my life been “on the prowl.” Either I see someone who attracts me and I attempt to act like a person interested in sex or I don’t and I don’t bother. Secondly, there is never ever a “Plan B." There's barely a Plan A. I’m into an honest, candid representation of myself upfront because I’m too lazy for tactics.

If I talk to someone in hopes of getting something going and that person shows no interest in returning the affection, I walk away. Changing how I go about attracting someone feels like straight-up manipulation and/or begging. No thanks.  

2. Do you really like back kisses or just like putting us through the paces?

Short answer: Sure. It's nice. Long answer: Even when I’m in a sexually-charged headspace, it sometimes takes a little extra for the juices to get flowing, literally and figuratively. Back kisses are intimate and tantalizing in a way that warms me up and makes me feel safe all at the same time. However, you can expedite the process by planting open-mouth kisses on the curve where my neck meets my shoulder. That move is kryptonite.

3. Is it cheating to masturbate in front of someone else if there aren’t feelings involved? 

Look, every relationship has its own boundary lines pertaining to what constitutes as “cheating.” However, a good rule of thumb is asking yourself, “Would you care if your significant other was doing this thing to someone else?” If the answer to that is “Yes,” then you’re cheating.

4. Seriously, would you rather receive oral or p-in-v?

This entirely depends on the participant. I’ve received oral that was so bad, I’ve just told him to stick it in and resorted to DIY clit stimulation. However, I’ve also had partners who’ve gone down so well, I forgot my name, let alone that penetration was an option.

If I had to choose, I'd rather take a life of mediocre penetration over mediocre oral, but I'd choose awesome oral over awesome penetration. Fun fact: Other women's preferential nuances are also this complex. 

5. Would it be a relief if a dude just wasn’t into getting blowjobs?

Not for me. I love giving them, especially while I’m also being stimulated. It does as much for me as it does for him because I feel this incredible sense of power being able to please my partner. I know that’s the kind of transparently fake answer a sexy burgeoning starlet is told to give in interviews by her publicist, but it’s true.

6. If a guy has a small dick, is it a total turn-off?

Only because I’m not sure what to do with it and what my limits are with regards to asking for guidance. I never want to offend anyone, but my ignorance isn’t going to help him have a good time if I’m afraid I’m going to break it. I was with one guy whose dick was small but who was so good at knowing how to use it and how to communicate what he wanted that size really didn't factor into the experience at all.

7. Have you ever hooked up with a guy just so you didn’t have to sleep alone?

Oh, god. Oh, that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. No. I stayed in a relationship once because I was full of self-loathing and terrified of being alone, but I’ve never gone out looking for a one-nighter just to warm my bed.  

8. Tossed salad: feels good or feels kinky or feels gross?

Wait. “Kinky” and “good” aren’t mutually exclusive terms. I thoroughly enjoy a tossed salad so long as I’m sure I’ve washed my produce before I served it. Otherwise, I’m too paranoid to enjoy it. 

9. What do you do if a guy can’t keep a boner when a condom gets involved?

Never had that problem. Honestly, I’d just flip on the lights (if they weren’t on already) and adjust my body to accentuate my visual focal points. If the condom is genuinely the only problem between us, the next option is for us to get off orally/digitally or him to finish on his own. Yes, condoms are that important. #ThingsILearnedTheHardWay

10. If you were sure he wouldn’t get feelings for her, would you ever consider a threesome with a good friend and your guy?

I’m not worried about my guy! What if I catch feelings!? My friends and I have platonic boundaries for a reason; if we mess things up with sex, then I’ve lost a valued friendship, which hardly seems worthwhile. The best bet for experimental threesomes (as opposed to thruple-style polyamory) is to get an objective, safe third party you’re both attracted to but not interested in pursuing a relationship with. End of discussion. 

11. Is there such thing as a cuckold fantasy but for women?

Absolutely. Obviously, not every woman is okay with the idea of sharing partners but personally, I think it's hot to watch someone I'm attracted to having sex whether or not I'm involved with them. Naturally, I’d love to see my partner getting it on from a bystander’s perspective. I’ve even told my husband that he’s welcome to have a one-night stand as long as he films it for me...which, now that I think about it, would probably put any prospective flings off the minute he breaks out a camera. 

12. Be real, would you rather a guy who is every definition of handsome or a rich guy?

You’ve asked the wrong gal because I’m all about the personality as a necessary component for a relationship, long-term or otherwise. I've dated rich dudes with zero personality and handsome dudes who were dumber than a bag of hammers, and in the end, I’ll take a guy I’m physically attracted to who has a brain and can make me laugh. Honestly. 

I learned the hard way that just because someone is handsome doesn’t mean they know how to use their body to please a partner, and, similarly, dating a rich guy doesn’t mean I’m going to be privy to wealth. Better to find the company of someone who’s enjoyable to be around, even for the short-term.

But alright, fine: Gun to my head, I’d take a hot guy over a rich guy out for a long-weekend fling than a wealthy guy for a year. But neither are going to get my attention with those credentials alone.

13. Every single girl has at least kissed another girl, right?

This is me pulling an ocular muscle by rolling my eyes. No. No, they haven’t. Despite what pop culture’s fetishizing of bisexuality would have you believe, some females genuinely are a hard zero on the Kinsey Scale and don’t need to test out the waters “just to make sure.” Other women have deeply-seeded heteronormative beliefs (religious or otherwise) that they adhere to.

I’d venture to say that if you’re immature enough to be asking that question, you’d be completely shocked at the percentage of single women who have never had a girl-on-girl kiss.

14. Why don’t two-thirds of you like 69ing?

I wasn't aware I was in the 1/3 of women who don't mind it, but I'd guess it's because it puts us in a super-awkward position where we can’t fully enjoy what we’re receiving. This is a simple physics scenario.

If the male is on top, then we run the risk of choking because we’re not controlling his depth as well, and if we’re on top then it’s hard to get a good rhythm going because it feels awesome and we get distracted.

15. How much different does sex feel after you’ve had a Brazilian?

Not a lot, to be honest. The only area that’s really affected is the outer labia (the big lips), which are more exposed and, thus, can experience more stimulation, but since that’s not that big of a deal, it’s not really a reason to get a Brazilian (or shave, if you’re not a masochist). I really think being hairless down there has more psychological benefits, as you feel cleaner, more exposed, and more free than usual. It’s liberating.