We Asked Men What They Think A 'Beautiful Vagina' Looks Like

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There's A Vagina Beauty Pageant — So We Asked Guys What Makes One "Beautiful"

For as long as I can remember, there's been controversy and even shame surrounding all that beauty pageants stand for. But clearly not enough to stop the chauvinistic pig who created a beauty pageant that's solely for your vagina

Although the event will be held for the eighth year in July, I'm not sure that the concept gets any easier to wrap my head around as time goes on. As if the entire thing isn't strange enough, it's held an Oregon — the last location I suspected would hold such a modern? ... event. But, generalizations aside, this made me more curious than ever as to what makes a vagina "pageant ready" or even beautiful enough to enter into a "Vageant."

According to Mic, critics of various vagina pageants in previous years have pointed out, "It's a long tradition of propagating unrealistic beauty standards for women."

One vagina beauty pageant noted that a "class one" vagina could best be described as soft and not protruding; while vaginas in classes three to five "display protruding labia minor." Of course, this contest was run by men and for men, catered entirely to the male species.

RELATED: 5 Oddly Specific Things That Make A Woman’s Vagina Dry

However, when women were asked we got, "one that looks like my own" and "subjectivity" — with me being in full agreement with the latter (because I actually don't enjoy my vagina's style) I then set out to see what men would say. 

And, if beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, then women everywhere are doomed to the crazy high standards that men have for the vaginas they hold. 

Here's what men think makes a vagina 'beautiful':

1. "Looks moist like a well-baked cake — not dry like an overcooked steak." —Shawn M. 

2. "Clean, shaved, proportional lips to clitoris." —Phil G.

3. "I guess as long as it doesn't look like an Arby's sandwich ... it's fine." Chris B. 

RELATED: The Brutal Truth About Your Loose Vagina

4. "Cleanly shaved, no razor bumps, smells greats and her labia aren't flappin' and hangin' loose; her clitoris is tucked and not out like a tiny penis." —Samuel C.

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5. "Nice and fat, without the insides hanging out." —Terrence H. 

6. "It seems like it would be difficult to describe the ideal vagina, but lips that don't sag is definitely a must." Damien B.

My guess? The man who finds a beauty pageant worthy vagina (according to these men), well they'll be quite literally putting it on a pedestal.