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It ain't always easy dealing with the well-endowed.
By latina — Written on Mar 22, 2017
We’re obsessed with the belief that bigger is better. But does that theory hold true when he’s got a Big Ego?
Here are 8 reasons why you might want a guy with a normal size package.
1. It hurts — seriously.
Let’s face it: He may be Mr. Right Now and not Mr. Right, so ask yourself if surviving his extremely large member is worth the pain. Should the night end with a toe curl and leg quiver? Or a numb va-jay-jay? You decide.
2. Because you can never be sure if that cute guy that caught your eye at the bar is um . . . carrying a large sized package.
There should be a law against carrying a concealed sexy weapon (i.e. 12-inches or more) in your boxers, right? Or at least some kinda infraction that makes it illegal to show up at girls’ night out looking for unsuspecting single ladies. Boy, bye.
3. You can pretty much forget about having anal sex.
If you were thinking about back door action, a Big Ego may be a turn-off. So when it’s brought up in casual conversation, be prepared—superhero style—to be clear that you’re not down for the chocolate cha-cha.
4. You might start rethinking your views on relationships — and possibly just life in general.
It can really mess with your head (no pun intended) if you were anticipating a medium-size happy meal and Mr. Johnson has a super-size chorizo. Expect a dizzy spell. Heart palpitations. Dry mouth. You may even wonder about the meaning of life, if you’re really about that one-night stand life or if it’s time to be celibate.
5. You'll have to make an extra trip to the drugstore for different protection.
A regular size condom stashed in your nightstand won’t fit this anaconda. So get your supply up with Magnum, One the Legend and Glyde Maxi or insist that he comes strapped with protection that caters to his length and girth.
6. It'll pretty much always be a quickie.
When Beyoncé and Jay are drunk in love, they “be all night” like a long ass baseball game. But if his “bat” is too big, skip the nine innings and call the game on account of rain.
7. It's not always a pretty sight.
The saying, “if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all” doesn’t apply here. Aesthetically speaking, Russell the Human Love Muscle isn’t that pretty to look anyway, so it’s okay to run away from one that looks like it belongs in the freak show with the Bearded Lady.
8. The performance may not always be true to size.
The size queens in the room expect a Bruno Mars-style performance on the kitchen counter, so hopefully, he’s learned how to work his impressive 24k Magic Stick and isn’t one of those guys who over promises and under delivers.
This article was originally published at Latina. Reprinted with permission from the author.