Sex

Men Who Masturbate For Fun Should Be Fined, Texas Lawmaker Insists

jessica farrar

Nasty women everywhere have scowled as we retroactively charge back into a period of time we thought was behind us (for the most part).

We've rolled our eyes at a government filled with men, as we fight for the right to have full autonomy over our own bodies in the same way that men everywhere do.

We've protested and rallied against men trying to tell us that they somehow know what's best for us, without having ever walked a mile in our shoes.

But, Texan one female Texas lawmaker has a solution designed to help Republican men and women alike to check their bias.

Democrat Jessica Farrar has sprung into action with proposed legislation that would fine men $100 dollars for masturbating anywhere besides a hospital or clinic.

More specifically, the proposed bill — "A Man's Right to Know" — will consider ejaculation outside of a vagina or a health clinic/hospital to be an "act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life."

Farrar's bill goes on to suggest that all "Masturbatory emissions created in health or medical facilities will be stored for the purposes of conception for a current or future wife." Additionally, in the name of justice and all, it will require men to have a waiting period prior to receiving a vasectomy or a prescription for Viagra. 

If you're scoffing at this proposed sanction on men's right to masturbate, then congratulations! You finally understand how women feel with their bodies being governed — and governed by a room full of old, white men, no less

As Farrar points out, her bill simply "mirrors" the bullsh*t bills to come out of Texas, concerning women.

Farrar told My San Antonio, "A lot of people find the bill funny. What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare."

While the comparisons aren't totally analogous, Farrar introduced the legislation to make a few points: 1) My body, my business. 2) How willing the government is to oppress women and their reproductive rights, while supporting men in their sexual endeavors, no questions asked.  

Consider this eye-opening tidbit: The New York Times reported in 2014 that "older men who use Viagra and similar drugs are six times less likely to use condoms compared with men in their 20s" citing Viagra as just one of a few reasons why the rate of sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise among the geriatric crowd. 

Where is the outrage? Where is the legislation?

There really ought to be far more governing for men — if that's how we're going to play this whole thing.

Farrar's bill is here to remind us that we're all entitled to equal and fair treatment.

So, if the government (local and otherwise) has no intention on sanctioning similar laws that will force men to be "more personally responsible" when it comes to sex then women deserve that same respect, privacy, and choice.