5 Craaazy Myths About Masturbation That Are Total Bullsh*t

Photo: Weheartit
couple in bed

If you ask us, solo sex is super important, in spite of what society tells us. It teaches us new things about our body (like what feels best), information that we can then pass along to our lovers.

It relieves stress and also burns calories (wink). Not only is it the safest sex there is, it also makes sex with your partner more enjoyable. Yet, a lot of people are wary about diving in down there.

So we're calling bullsh*t on the negative rumors swirling around about both masturbation and the folks who practice it. After all, a little self-love can go a long way.

1. You'll go blind, or grow hair on your palms.
Such rumors were likely started as a means of shaming those who sought out self-pleasure. What better way to scare people away from masturbation than threatening them with a debilitating and/or humiliating physical condition?

In case you're wondering, this gal schedules some alone time with her favorite vibrator quite frequently. My vision is near-perfect, and I have the smoothest skin—palms included—you'll ever find.

2. You'll lose the ability to orgasm during actual sex.
Some worry that frequent vibrator use will cause their ladybits to go numb. Others fear that regular, masturbation-induced orgasms will make them immune to the ones their partners later try to give them.

The truth is, unless you're allowing frequent masturbation to interfere with your day-to-day life (which is an issue of its own), your orgasms will be just fine. In fact, vibrators and digital stimulation can work wonders during sex as many women have trouble achieving orgasm during intercourse.

Touching yourself while your partner is inside you can create sexy-time magic.

3. Men who masturbate are wasting their sperm.

While a man who frequently masturbates may find that he has a lower volume of semen per ejaculation, he won't run out, and he won't become infertile.

His testicles begin producing and storing sperm during puberty, and this sperm production continues throughout much of his adult life. Which means that, even if he's polishing his pocket rocket every day, you still need to pile on the condoms, spermicide and other forms of birth control if you're looking to avoid pregnancy.

4. There's no need to masturbate if you're in a relationship.
A number of people hide their masturbation habits when they're in a relationship because it makes their partner jealous. What these jealous lovers need to realize is:

a) They can learn from their partner's masturbatory habits

b) Their partner's desire to self-pleasure has nothing to do with how much (or how little) they're enjoying sex

c) Um. At least they're only having sex with themselves.

Some people masturbate while in a relationship because of all the reasons we mentioned in the intro above. Others masturbate as a part of their active fantasy life (also nothing to be jealous of).

If you're feeling left out, feel free to suggest making masturbation an active part of your bedroom routine, whether through mutual masturbation or as a means of playing around with exhibitionism/voyeurism. 

5. Those who masturbate are nothing but down and dirty perverts.

Hopefully, by this point, you realize that such an attitude is just plain wrong. Most people masturbate — even if they're loath to admit it — and most of those people are quite normal.

In fact, we encourage you to try it yourself. Tonight. When you get home from work. It's been a long day, after all. You owe it to yourself.