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It’s not a punishment… unless you want it to be.
By Alex Alexander — Written on Sep 15, 2021
When men are attempting to spice up sex, one of the first things they always try is spanking their partner.
But why? Why do men love to spank women so much during sex?
I'm not saying that spanking isn't not hot for women, too. (It definitely can be.) However, it is interesting that spanking comes to mind so quickly when men want to introduce a little kink to their everyday sex lives.
“Hmm… I could touch her gently. I could blow in her ear. I could rock back and forth… Or I could smack her a** like she’s been naughty...”
How did that last one jump to the top of the list of things men think women enjoy?
Maybe it’s just because it’s easy. Let’s be frank — giving a woman’s backside a swat is about a million times simpler than, say, finding the clitoris.
Most men definitely regard spanking as something that brings more depth and excitement to the act of sex, and many women seem to agree — but why?
Here are 5 reasons why men love to spank women during sex.
1. Spanking a woman grabs her attention.
When you’re having sex, it can be easy to get caught up in your own pleasure. Your mind is so focused on “OMG, I’m almost there,” that you can almost forget about your partner.
But not if they spank you.
Spanking is like the exclamation point of sex. It grounds you, it declares your presence. It pulls your partner out of the pre-orgasm fog.
So, occasionally, men spank out of a desire to connect with their partner mid-sex and say “Hey, let’s get there together!”
2. Spanking a woman during sex asserts dominance.
There’s a right and a wrong way to think of this.
Men shouldn’t use spanking to assert their strength or power over a woman during sex. That’s the bad kind of aggression. However, if a man and his partner enjoy playing with dominant/submissive roles in the bedroom, then, hell yeah, spank away.
There’s nothing wrong with getting a man getting his inner dom on — IF he’s already established that his lady friend is cool with it.
3. Spanking a woman tests her boundaries.
This plays into how you figure out your dominant/submissive roles.
There’s nothing wrong with a man giving his partner nice firm spank during sex — one meant to grab focus, not cause pain — to see if his partner is into it.
If she immediately recoils or shoots him a “WTF” look, the experiment failed and he shouldn’t repeat it. But if she smiles and nods, the guy has permission to keep going and find the limits of her next boundaries.
That said, it's always better to ask for consent in advance.
4. Spanking makes a great sound.
It does! A well-placed smack right on the ass can sound surprising and powerful if you do it right. Like Thor throwing down thunderbolts from on high.
Even if your spanks don’t carry much power, if your hand hits a butt-cheek just right, it can act as an excellent percussion accompaniment to your love-making.
And who knows… maybe it will help the guy keep a decent tempo too?
5. Spanking a woman gives a man something to do with his hands.
Even though it’s one of the best things in the world, sex can also be pretty damn awkward at times.
Men, in particular, can struggle when it comes to knowing what to do with their hands, especially if they’re in a position where they can’t really reach any of the fun parts. (It’s even worse when they can reach the fun parts, but don’t know what to do with them.)
So, in those cases, the simple act of spanking just gives them something easy and repetitive to do with their hands, which, most times, is better than having them let their arms hang limp at their side like a dead fish.
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Alex Alexander is a frequent contributor to YourTango.