The REAL Reason Smart Women Love A Good Spanking

We all need a good spanking.

spanking women Shutterstock/ alexkoral

Spanking has always been a hot-button issue, but it's always been an issue that has confounded me, both as a child and as an adult.

I was only spanked once as a kid, and I was just as confused about what I was supposed to feel about it as my mom was. 

But as an adult, I get why women like to be spanked for sexual pleasure and why spanking women in the bedroom is okay.

Because I'm one of those women. 


Here are 5 Reasons why spanking women during sex is okay.

This is why we like it.

woman in lingerie spanking womenPhoto: Tattoboo / Shutterstock

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1. They enjoy being in control.

I'm a total control freak in most aspects of my life. Other people get stressed out when they have too much to do, but I'm fine as long as I have total control of all of those things.


Invite me out to eat dinner with a group of people and I defy you to make me have a good time and not think about the fact that at the end of the meal we're going to have to figure out the bill.

I'm not alone either. For many women, being in control, working to maintain control, or struggling to gain it, are all huge parts of what it means to be a woman. 

When we are babied or punished in our daily lives it's never because we want it. It's because we have sexist bosses or colleagues who think it's okay to undermine us just because we have vaginas. 

One reason women want to be spanked is because when you lay down on someone else's lap and trust them to give you the spanking of your life it's 100% your choice.


You are choosing to let your guard down.

You are choosing to relinquish control. 

You are choosing the person who is helping you achieve that release. 

2. They enjoy letting go.

Women like being spanked not because they have issues held over from their childhood, or because they have secret self-loathing and think they deserve to be treated badly or abused. 

Women like being spanked because for just a few, precious seconds they are transported by a pain of their own choosing away from the strictures of control that we have to exercise to survive and be female at the same time.

For overthinkers, this is one of their biggest reasons why they like being spanked. Because when they let it all go and put themselves in the protection and pleasure of their partners in this specific way, it allows them to leave all their troubles behind.


It lets them have a blank space in their minds where they don't have to think about anything except their own pleasure they are receiving. It makes them feel good.

RELATED: A Beginner's Guide To Erotic Spanking

3. They Like how it feels.

Our bums have a good cluster of sensitive nerves on them. The palm of the hand has a great amount of surface area. 

And because these nerves are so closely placed next to our genital area those sensations can give off the same feeling as it would when stimulating the clitoris. So some of us want to be spanked during sex to heighten that feeling of sexual pleasure.

guy spanking womanPhoto: Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock


Does every woman on the planet harbor a secret passion for being spanked?


It's true of a certain segment of the population that has found that being spanked is exactly what they need to sustain them emotionally, sexually, and intellectually. 

But it's just as true that other people have other, equally valid, ways of eliminating stress and embracing their truest sense of self. There are also many parts of the body women may like and dislike to be spanked.


Therefore, it is always best to communicate with your partner before pursuing any experimentation in the bedroom.

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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer who covers sex, love, self, and relationship topics.