Love, Heartbreak

Stop Being The 'Good Woman' He Always Crawls Back To

Photo: WeHeartIt
breaking heart

Many romantic relationships are built on loyalty, a quality that's important to have, but too often abused. 

A lot of women place a huge importance on loyalty, especially if they've been with a guy for a long time. Fond of the familiarity and scared to face the single life, they put up with bad behavior over and over again. 

I like to think we're all dealing with some sort of awful dating pattern we can't seem to break out of. For a few of my girlfriends, that pattern is giving the same shitty guy another chance.

Even though this shitty guy proves over and over again that he's not worth it. 

They'll be together for a little while and then he'll cheat or lie or do something else equally hurtful. She'll find out and get heartbroken over it. He'll come crawling back on his knees apologizing and telling her how much he messed up. How he didn't appreciate how much of a "good woman" she really is. 

And with a few heartfelt words that make up exactly what she wanted to hear, she lets him back in. Because the good woman always lets him back in. 

Well, it's time to stop. It's time to slam the door in his face and walk away. 

See, being a good woman doesn't mean what you want to believe it means. It's not because you're special to him or because you make him a better person.

It's because you treat him better than anyone else — meaning you let him do whatever the hell he wants no matter how it makes you feel. 

You're a safety net and a door mat. You're the open arms that never close. You're the person that's always there. 

But there's a catch with this kind of loyal dedication to a human man: you can never expect him to do the same for you. 

Loyalty for these kinds of men is a one-way street and they just have no clue how to drive it. And don't worry, they always have a really good and complimentary excuse for not being able to be loyal to you.


You have to be there because you're stronger than they are. You can never cheat on them because you're more secure than they are. You can never have any real flaws because you're too perfect. 

Isn't that sweet? 

Well, I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be the good woman. In fact, you should start being a bad one. 

Be the woman that tells him to piss off after he's sexted your best friend for the fourth time. Be the woman who doesn't respond when he sends you a novel text about how much he really loves you.

Be the woman that stands up for her damn self instead of letting some guy take away your self-esteem. 

Because if you were as good of a woman to yourself as you were to him, you'd realize you don't really need him at all.