9 Things You NEED To Know Before Your First Girl-On-Girl Sex Session

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sex with a woman lesbian

So you have decided to have sex with a woman for the first time. 

Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of being a lesbian, a bisexual, or an otherwise questioning woman

You'll like it here, we throw a great brunch and we have ZERO fear of commitment. 

Many women who are experimenting or exploring their sexuality balk at the notion of having sex with a woman. 

Making out is all well and good (conditioned lips, sweet mouths, general softness, yay), and who doesn't love playing with some pretty awesome boobs, amiright?

But when it comes to the downstairs region, many women get nervous about sex when confronted with a vagina that is not their own.

I totally get it. New is scary. But it doesn't have to be terrifying. I'm here to help. 

Here are 9 things you need to know before you have sex with a woman for the first time. 


1. Not all vaginas are the same 

Sure, you have a vagina and you pride yourself on your inside knowledge on how the thing works.

It's true that most women have clitorises and most of those clits are in the same place, but what feels amazing to your clit isn't necessarily going to feel amazing on hers. Yes, you've got one up on men when it comes to having sex with a woman because you have insider knowledge of the vagina, but you don't have insider knowledge of EVERY vagina, so beware of cockiness. 

2. No one is expecting you to be an expert at lesbian sex 

If this is your first time having sex with a woman, do yourself a favor and make sure the woman you hope to have sex with knows that it's your first time.

This isn't high school. If you feel comfortable enough with this woman and attracted enough to her to be trying sex, don't ruin the mood and the moment by keeping your lesbian virginity a secret from her. Fun fact: If you tell her it's your first time and you manage to somehow not just idly poke her vagina until she is sore, you are going down in infamy as one of the great lesbian sex goddesses. 

3. There's more than just oral sex 

If you are having lesbian sex with a woman for the first time, you are probably fully primed to go down on her. That's awesome! Congratulations. Going down on a woman is amazing.

But remember, that's not all there is to having sex with a woman. In the heat of the moment you might pull a total straight dude move and go straight for her belt buckle instead of savoring foreplay. Foreplay is good. It makes a vagina wet. A wet vagina is a more aroused vagina. That's what you want. So slow down. 


4. Don't be afraid to ask for guidance 

There are two types of people in the world, there's the type of person who is assigned a task that they don't understand and blunders along making a mess of everything, and then there's the type of person who is assigned a task that they don't understand and they say "I don't understand, please help me."

When it comes to having sex with a woman for the first time, be the second kind of person. No one is going to be mad at you for asking them for guidance in getting them off. Asking for help is how we end the vicious cycle of new lesbian vagina poking, scourge of the kingdom of Lesbos. 

5. Start with mutual masturbation

If you are feeling totally nervous about your first sexual encounter with another woman there is a great and sexy way to get to know how her body works AND to learn how your body responds to hers. That, my friends, is mutual masturbation.

Sex is great and grown up and awesome, but playing with each other's bodies can be just as hot and it's a great way of learning what exactly turns her on and how to do it like a pro. 

6. For the love of god trim your nails 

Yeah, your long nails are beautiful, but do me a solid and trim them, mkay?

Because showing up on a sexy date with a lesbian with long-ass nails is basically cock-blocking yourself. No woman looks at another woman's giant, stabby nails and goes "yeah, I can't wait for them to be inside of my vagina, they definitely will not cut me up and back me bleed, nor are they full of all sorts of bacteria, nope, not at all."

You might not be able to walk the lesbian walk yet, but talk the talk and keep your nails short and clean. 

7. Hold off on all the sex toys 

I understand that now that you've decided to have sex with a woman, you've gotten excited. But try to reign it in a little, mkay? In other words, please do not buy the biggest, most vein-covered dildo they sell at the sex shop, okay?

Your enthusiasm is adorable and yes, sex toys are a lot of fun, but before you start exploring those options, let's keep it traditional and try to figure out how each other's bodies work sans toys of any sort. There's plenty of time for that vibrator alarm clock you've been eyeing, I promise you. 

8. Orgasms aren't always guaranteed 

If you're having sex with a woman, having sex with a man,or having sex with yourself, there's one important thing you should always keep in mind: orgasms aren't guaranteed.

Sure, orgasms are nice but they aren't the be all and end all of a sexual encounter. Sometimes, because of fatigue, nerves, a full tummy, they just don't happen. This doesn't mean you're a bad lover. This means you're a human in a human relationship having sex with another human.

In other words, you're good. 

9. There's so much more to lesbian sex than penetration 

Just because you are now having sex with a woman that doesn't mean that every single time you have sex you are going to be fisting someone. Fisting is something that happens during some lesbian sex, sure. So is fingering.

But penetration doesn't equal sex 100% of the time in lesbian sex. Going down on each other, tribadism (when you rub up against each other's genitals for pleasure) , and even external manual stimulation are all totally legitimate forms of lesbian sex — and don't let anyone try to tell you differently.