If Your Guy Takes Too Long To Orgasm, Do These 3 Things To Speed It Up
The friction of marathon sex sessions can be very painful.
Krakenimages / Shutterstock A guy who lasts a really long time in bed seems like a good problem to have, but it's not a good problem at all.
If it takes forever to get your guy to climax, it's not that fun for you or your vagina. When the friction that started out so delicious starts to rub you the wrong way, you can get bruised, torn, and your vaginal lips can become swollen.
The fantasy may be to go all night but that doesn't mean you should be pounded the whole time, especially if you already had a few orgasms.
Reddit user Throownout said, "Yes, I'm serious that's how long [30-40 minutes] it takes, and women who have never dealt with that should cringe and smash their legs together to have that kind of friction in their vagina that long."
It's a tricky situation. Both partners should have their needs met in the most satisfying way, but damn could he finish up now?
You don't want to start faking orgasms because it will bring in an element of dishonesty into the bedroom and call into question the legitimacy of your previous orgasms.
What should you do when your guy takes forever to orgasm?
In Women's Health, Emily Morse, Ph.D., sexpert and host of the podcast Sex with Emily, offered some suggestions on how to deal with the guy who takes forever to get over the finish line.
What To Do When He Lasts Too Long
1. Use lube, lube and more lube.
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Keeping things slippery down there may help both of you orgasm and it will help with the friction problem, especially since you can feel dry after a marathon sex session.
2. Change gears.
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Sure, sex is fabulous, but switch things up if your partner wants to keep at it and you're feeling sore.
Suggest that he pull out and you'll finish him off with a hand job, blow job, mutual masturbation, or you could watch and cheer him on as he masturbates himself.
3. Mix things up.
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Try some different positions and scenarios. Think about the things he's liked in the past and do them.
"Use those triggers that really turn him on," Morse suggests. Maybe it's some dirty talk, a touch to his testicles, or some unexpected tongue action.
4. Tell him you want to stop.
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If you find yourself praying for it to be over soon, you need to let him know. You might try whispering in his ear that you'd like him to climax for you and giving his butt a little squeeze, or if he doesn't get the message from that, tell him straight up (without anger) that you're in pain and that he needs to wrap it up.
If he continues to last way too long and your vagina hurts, you need to wait for a time when you're not going at it to bring it up calmly and respectfully.
He might not have any idea his ability to hold off his orgasm is making you uncomfortable.
Sex should be fun and satisfying for both parties, and it's very important that you let your partner know what you're feeling for both your sakes.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, and Woman's Day. Visit her website or her Instagram.