Drinking Lots Of Coffee Makes Your Penis STRONG, Says 'Hard' Science

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Drinking More Coffee Makes A Penis Strong, Says Hard Science
Self, Sex

I believe it’s pretty safe to say that nothing spells “pick me up!” like a strong cup of Joe (aka coffee for those of you not quite as trendy as moi).

So it seems like common sense to me that your daily Joe would be the go to source for getting a man’s Johnson (aka Willy, aka penis) springing upright, ready to head out and see where he can slide his way in to pick up some chicks, right?


Turns out, it isn’t just me and my wicked imagination leaping to such rigid thoughts.

Science knows what’s up!

Researchers at the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston have discovered that men who drink 2-3 cups of caffeinated coffee per day are nearly HALF as like to suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) as men who drink zero to 1 cup of coffee per day!


This holds true regardless of weight and high blood pressure, which are both factors commonly thought to be causes of ED. Unfortunately, men with diabetes are the only population that doesn't seem to reap the same benefit (but we're keeping our heads up for those of you with that dilemma).

According to the study, researchers believe “caffeine triggers a series of pharmacological effects that lead to the relaxation of the penile helicine arteries and the cavernous smooth muscle that lines cavernosal spaces, thus increasing penile blood flow.”


In the most laid back of laymen’s terms, this means caffeine acts like a med that chills out your man’s package so it can stretch at it’s glorious seams and let the blood flow come rushing on in, rocketing it once again to it’s most full manly stature!

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Gentlemen, I suggest you raise your coffee mugs and allow your best buddy to rise to this momentous occasion. 

Ladies, start your coffee makers. Your time shall be coming soon...

After all, it's always best to fill her to the rim — and make it strong!