It won't always be like this.
By John Gray and Dorothy Camp — Written on Jul 18, 2016
What's happened to your wife’s sex drive?
She used to have a libido that matched or even surpassed yours, and now it seems she has no interest at all. You expected there to be some decline with time, but not like this!
You feel rejected and hurt and when you approach her about it; she withdraws, cries and tells you it’s her, not you. Still, you're feeling insecure and wonder if she’s lost her desire for you, doesn’t find you attractive anymore, or worse — if she's having an affair.
The rational part of you understands and recognizes that she's under more stress now. Her job is more demanding, the kids are older and involved in activities that require a lot more time and, yes, she's getting older. She insists she still loves you and is still in love with you, but how can that be true if she no longer has a need or desire for you physically?
Why does she no longer need or want sex?
Have you reflected on your behavior and how your relationship has changed? Have you become so comfortable in your routines or so busy in your life that you have neglected to do those little things that make her feel close to you? When was the last time you took her on a date, or held her hand under the dinner table, or told her how beautiful she is? Do you offer to help her with the kids or household chores? All of those things may have an impact on her sexual desire.
Chances are she's just as concerned and confused as you are about the situation.
Maybe even more. Loss of sex drive is baffling to a woman just as much as it is to a man in the same predicament. Adding to the complexity is the fact that women tend to need emotional stimulation versus visual. When her brain is pre-occupied with the stresses of life, sex is often the last thing on her mind. Engage her mentally and emotionally and you’ve made the first step in the right direction.
There are hormonal and chemical factors that come into play as well, according to Author John Gray. In our YourTango Experts video, John sheds light on all of these factors and offers simple solutions to what feels like an insurmountable problem.
Take your woman gently by the hand, cuddle up on the couch and listen to what John has to say. John’s frank advice is sure to enlighten you both and most likely will make your follow-up discussion about your situation easier and more productive.
John's website offers products to help with sexual enhancement as well as timeless advice on all things love and relationships. Take a peek or reach out to him!