How To Tell If Your Relationship Will Last (Or If It's Just A Short-Lived Fling)

So you’ve been dating for a few months now, and things are going really well. Your chemistry is off the charts, you both enjoy the same hobbies, and it seems that you both just really click in every way. He might actually be the real deal, you think!

Not so fast, though. You’ve felt this way before and that relationship didn't last. After that phase where everything is rosy and dreamy wore off, too many of those small irritations and warnings suddenly grew into major red flags and you painfully realized that the two of you just weren't compatible and that a real relationship wasn't in your future.

It might have started as a niggling, uncertain feeling, but before too long, you couldn’t hide the truth from yourself anymore. And it’s happened to you in so many relationships that now you just don’t know if you’ll find someone great who is great for you, as well.

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So how do you know for sure that this time there's real long-term potential for your new relationship — and if so, how can you make your relationship last?

Are you still in the honeymoon phase and just not admitting it? Are you once again in a place where you’re being blind to his darker side? Are you only showing him your best self? Have you been honest with yourself and him about your needs, desires, and concerns?

Have you been in situations yet where you needed his support and was he there for you? Have you both been honest and vulnerable about any secrets or personal baggage? Does he bring out the best in you and vice versa?


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There are just so many questions! But how much time does it take to be sure that you're in a real relationship that can truly last?

Sure, there are those couples who have been together forever and swear that it was "love at first sight." But I bet if you asked them, they’d readily tell you that making it work took work. Lots of work. And let’s face it, the majority of long-term relationships didn't start in this romantic fashion.

Getting to know someone takes time — a lot of time — with many varied shared experiences and lots of honest conversations with him and with yourself. Enjoy that first phase of bliss; it's essential to creating that initial bond that you'll build on. Just don’t be in a rush to the finish line. Relish in the journey of building a real relationship, as well!

In the above YourTango Experts video, our panel of Experts share their great advice on just how much time you should take to figure out if your relationship has the potential for long-lasting love. Melanie Gorman (YourTango Experts Senior VP) leads this informative, yet light-hearted discussion with psychologist Stan Tatkin, psychologist, and dating coach Sue Mandel, and counselor/dating coach Samantha Burns. Enjoy and learn!

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If you're intrigued or looking for more advice, visit their websites or get in touch with Stan, Sue, or Samantha directly.