Love, Self

BEWARE Of People Whose Words Don't Match Their Actions

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Be Cautious of People Whose Words Don't Match Their Actions

He said he didn't cheat on me; he said he just did body shots off Serenity. He said he wouldn't see her again. But his eyes flicked away when he talked. He moved his feet. His words didn't match his actions, and I knew he'd done more than body shots off that girl.

He saw her again, too. He told me so. I knew he was cheating on me. I'm cautious of people whose words don't match their actions.


It's easy for boys and cheating. Oh, I'm working late on Saturday night every Saturday night. Those credit card charges are just from when I went out with the guys, remember, honey? No, that second cell phone's just for work, even though it's a prepaid phone, even though you've never seen it before. Their actions betray their words every time.

It's not so easy when domestic violence is concerned. They approach you so sweetly, so kindly, that how could they possibly be a threat, until you read their body language? Here, I have your birthday present, he said. Come down. His words didn't match his angry look or his pacing.

I met him at the stoop, and the screaming started. I cried. He was mad that I'd broken up with him. He threw bottles, one by one, at my head. I ducked. I didn't get hit but I sliced my bare feet on the glass.


"I'm the one in the wrong here!" he screamed at me. "This is all your fault!" Clearly, his words didn't match his actions. He was throwing bottles at my head. I was crying. One of us was clearly trying to gaslight the other.

It's also not easy when bosses are concerned. Mine told me, over and over, that I was up for a promotion at the law firm (basically from nothing to less than nothing). Every time she saw me, she had an excuse: the timing wasn't right. The partners wouldn't go for it just now.

She put me off, and put me off. When we finish this big project. When the New Year starts. Her words didn't match her actions. If she wanted to promote me, she'd have done it already. I was cautious that I'd ever get that promotion. I didn't.

And girlfriends. Oh, girlfriends. Girls will say they want to be your friends. You think you've got a buddy for life. And then they never answer your texts. You're confused. Should you text again, or just let it be? Let it be, lady. Her actions don't match her words.


The number of ways girls can betray a friendship, can act other than they speak, is myriad and ugly. You tell your bestie a secret about your man and his manhood. All of a sudden, all the girls you know are calling him "Captain Hook" and making crooking notions with their fingers. She betrayed your secret for sh*ts and giggles, and swears she's still your friend.

Do you want to be friends with a person like this? Be cautious: her words don't match her actions.

Then there's the girlfriend who constantly blows you off, either for a guy or for better plans. You've gotten used to the text, just before you go out: So sorry, can't make it, got other plans and forgot, my bad. Raincheck? If she leaves you hanging over and over and constantly makes plans with you again, swearing this time she'll make it, isn't it time to think about your friendship?

She says she wants to hang out with you. But every time something better comes along, she drops you like a bad date. Her actions don't match her words. Time to drop her for good.

Worst of all, there's the girlfriend that talks about you. Not the type that spreads your secrets but the type that talks sh*t about your clothes, your job, your car or your boyfriend to other people. She swears she's your friend. But is she only hanging out with you for more gossip fodder? Does she just want to make fun of your latest date, or lack thereof? Her actions don't match her claims of friendship. You have to let that girl go.


Your mom can do it. She says your house is clean enough but starts doing the dishes the moment she walks in. You dad can do it. He claims you take good care of your car, but you catch him checking your oil. "I just wanted to check, honey," he says. "Of course I trust you."

No, if you trusted me, you wouldn't check my oil. Your boyfriend says he trusts that you're faithful. But he always seems to call up when you work late, and he goes over your credit card statements. He doesn't trust you.

Be cautious of people whose words don't match their actions.