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If you've dated a guy with one of these names, we're sorry.
By Caithlin Pena — Last updated on Apr 19, 2023
Wouldn't it be easy if we could just tell if a guy was a d bag based on their name alone? I
t would definitely save a lot of time.
Who would want to waste time getting to know someone who ends up being the jerkiest of all jerks?
The now-defunct website First To Know released a list of the top 15 names of men who end up being d-bags, so you don't have to keep wondering. They based their judgment on the following criteria (note that these are just a few of those criteria):
- Chugs beer on his Facebook profile
- Blames their girlfriend and treats her like crap
- Wears sunglasses indoors at night
- Believes that Dane Cook is God
- Disappears after getting into your pants (also known as the ghosting phenomenon)
- Noncommittal via text after you reveal your feelings for him
- Prefers the gym with his bros over important life events
- Showers in Axe Body spray
- Plays mind games
Do you know, have dated, or are you any of the men with these names?
Here are the top 15 names of men who are jerks:
1. Nick
Nick is the name of a guy who thinks taking you out to coffee is a serious date.
2. Mark
Mark is someone who was an accounting major in college and brags about his job but doesn't leave a tip for the waitress.
3. Jeff
Jeff took you to a sports bar and is more into sports than he is to you.
4. Adam
Adam tries to explain stocks to you when you didn't ask.
5. Tyler
Tyler played lacrosse in high school and it's still his whole personality.
6. Travis
Travis says he knows the best Italian place in town, and he takes you to Oliver Garden.
7. Frank
Frank is really into telling you how much better he's doing after his last breakup with his ex, who he keeps looking at on Instagram right in front of you.
8. Bradley
Bradley lies about being 5'8. He's really 5'6, and you can definitely tell.
9. Brandon
Brandon skateboarded to your apartment before the date you two had planned, and you had to end up driving. And paying the bill.
10. Mike (Michael)
Mike would be someone who was checking out the waitress right in front of you.
11. Scott
Scott was the cute guy you had a crush on years ago, and on a date, you quickly realize he's not nearly as special as you think he is.
12. Ryan
Ryan was great on the dating app, but you quickly realize how dull he is in person.
13. Eric
You actually don't get to make a date with Eric, as he allegedly keeps sleeping through your dates.
14. Tommy
Tommy is the type of guy to have a girlfriend the whole time and not tell you until the actual date.
15. Matthew
Matthew actually seemed like a great guy, until he told you to watch what you eat and not order dessert.
Of course, this survey is purely anecdotal and based on many women's (and men's!) experiences with people with these names — not exactly science or research-based.
Nothing beats the good old-fashioned getting-to-know-you tactic to come to the conclusion that yes, they are indeed a d bag.
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Caithlin Pena is an editor and former contributor for YourTango. Her work has been featured on Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Yahoo, Psych Central, and BRIDES.